Use Your Own Ears

When a friend asks your opinion about their labor of love, how do you tell them politely without insulting, or ticking them off?

Excellent question and one that requires knowing your friend and having the emotional intelligence to find a way to express that in a positive manner that he/she will respond to in a positive manner. In order to do that, I simply ask my wife ;-) Women, in general, are often better at that kind of task (as long as it's not their husband...rim shot!) No really, they are. After 40 years, some of her knowledge and skill in that area are beginning to rub off on me.

There is a general trend here that I see. Some people (like me) are what I call gestalt listeners. They don't focus on the individual elements but rather the overall result in terms of the way that they respond to it. I know I can tell you which (insert component or system here) I enjoy more, but it's often hard for me to nail it down as to why. Some people are very analytical listeners or perhaps what I would call splitters (whereas I would consider myself a lumper). They can easily tease out the individual elements that make them prefer one sound over another. Taken further, they may not be able to enjoy something if one individual element to which they are sensitive is not exactly to their liking.

Whatever floats your boat. And maybe that is the way to approach the question of making constructive comments to a friend. Ask them what they particularly like about component X or system Y, agree w that, and then discuss the things that are important to you that you might find a little lacking.

Getting good sound need not be particularly hard nor costly these days. There is still a lot of junk out there but good sound is just not as hard to come by these days. The key is to know what you like when you hear it and have realistic expectations. Perfect sound always is not realistic. Good sound most of the time is. Throwing money at the problem alone is not a good strategy.

Ricred1 ..., I agree 100% with your comments. And so do many others.

Here's a "sanitized" version of an e-mail I sent last summer to a reviewer with whom I have occasionally traded messages over the years. The e-mail describes my experience comparing a Paradigm limited edition speaker (call it the "S5") to another very popular brand speaker, so-called Brand X. The S5 is very similar to my Paradigm S8s (v3).

I am reluctant to mention the name of the other brand because I am not interested in starting a speaker war. Just telling about my experience and expressing my personal opinion. And yes ... I was very surprised. OK, here's the message:

"[A] friend in the business had taken in trade an ARC VS-115 amp. He also had a pair of [Brand X speakers] and Paradigm Anniversary S5s on the floor. He called me to come over and compare the two using the VS-115 (my [former] amp). For some strange reason, [Brand X] sounded dead. Imaging and soundstage were flat compared to my S8s. Perhaps it was a matter of cabling or room placement. Don't know. I was surprised. I checked the amp's connections and even checked the bias on the tubes to make sure all the tubes were working. Nothing seemed out of order.

"Was getting ready to leave. My friend offered to plug the S5s into the VS-115. Wow!!!! Major big time difference. They sounded like my S8s. Imaging and soundstage was spectacular. In fairness to [Brand X], I thought they had slightly better bass -- a tad tighter and more 'honest' for lack of a better word. But all in all, I walked out thinking the S5s cleaned up the floor with [Brand X]. Of course this is all my opinion."

FWIW, the reviewer who is very familiar with the Paradigms and Brand X shared a similar opinion. Btw, Brand X was a more expensive speaker.

Just saying.

BIF

I have discussed this thought for many years after hearing a friend of mine who is not an audiophile at all system. He basically purchased most of his components forma garage sale total cost was $27.00 Something like Cambridge sound CDP for $5.00, Peraux (spelling) power amp 200 wpc $10, plastic ICs, cheap bookshelf speakers with powered sub $13, etc. and it sounded so involving I was stunned. As long as you are happy, then that sounds good to me.

Happy Listening.

This entire discussion is an affront to the audio elite who selflessly share their hallowed science backed opinions while buttoning their shirts up to their scrawny, unshaved necks when feverishly blogging away to the great unwashed about cryoed wall plugs and 2 inch single driver speakers powered by 3 watt hand made amps costing 40 thousand bucks built by a hermit in Kobe.