Karelfd,
I run two Telefunken ECC803S tubes in a phonostage. I don't have an extra pair, so I am relying heavily on their reputation for outlasting the owner. Yes, they are now shockingly expensive, but, I have not heard anything close to that tube for clarity, and dynamics.
Other than for crazy expensive tubes, I agree that having a spare set to compare the current operating set is the most sensible way to tell when tubes need to be replaced. I have a tube tester (Amplitrex) which is helpful, but it really does not necessarily identify when a tube should be replaced because it is beginning to SOUND bad. I have some really old and worn Tungsol roundplate 6sn7s that test extremely weak, but, in my particular amps, they continue to sound pretty good.