How to explain our obsessions to the uninitiated?


My father in-law asked me last night at dinner, just what makes one box more special than the other (referring to the components within a system) so much so that one can command a higher price and succeed in a competitive marketplace? I tried explaining as best I could and don't know if I did a very effective job at it. I was wondering if anyone has come across an online resource, or even a thread here that may do a good job at putting into words that someone who knows nothing about this hobby can relate with, exactly what it is that makes one component better than another and worth the price of admission? Since he expressed some interest I was thinking of pointing my father in-law to something like that if it exists. I will also take the time to try to sit him down and listen, of course, but I'd also like to find a well-articulated (hopefully brief and to the point) description of the carrot on the stick. Perhaps I'll just compose something myself. It is not the first time someone has asked me. There's always the response; "...if you have to ask, you probably won't get it anyway." I'd rather be more positive and try, at least, to share my enthusiasm, even if the likelihood may be towards the inference of that more rude response. What have your experiences been in sharing your hobby with those who otherwise wouldn't care about such things?
jax2
Simply put; it's the music - a primary interest that makes our hobby different than others. We are obsessed with the act of bringing music into our homes with sound quality that approaches a live event. We spend a lot of cash on getting us closer to distant-past musical events. What makes one box better than another and commands a high price? One box reproduces music much better than other. The explanation is not about how much power a box will output or how sexy a box is; it's about music.
Mr. T - That's really not an explanation at all of what he's asking about. He loves music too. His wife is first chair viola in an orchestra for over 40 years and teaches music at home. He was asking to understand the boxes themselves and why one was considered better than the other, why one is more expensive than the other, and what goes into making them that way. Tobias hit it on the head, thank you; yes, the guy sincerely wanted to understand about the pursuit of perfection in this hobby and what things motivated it and defined success in that pursuit. I certainly did not feel the need to defend myself as many here seem to be implying. I also didn't feel like he was implying I needed counseling, though that may not be a bad idea :-) Still enjoying the responses, regardless. Thanks!
So I did actually sit down and write out an email to my FIL, which did start an bit of a further dialogue on the subject. I think he got it. It remains to be seen if he'll take the time to sit down and listen, and whether or not it will mean anything beyond the effort to acknowledge his caring. Here's the main body of that email:

The primary motivator that drives audiophiles is to recreate the illusion of live music within a three dimensional space in their home. That is to hear the performance as if there were a stage in front of you with a singer at the center, drums in the back and to the left, a cello to the far right and mid-stage, a mouse scurrying across the wooden floor in the back of the hall stage right, etc. The ideal is the full illusion that the performers are there in front of you in a space that is is not really there. In fact a better recording on a good system can give the sense that the music was recorded in a stone church, or in a large hall. That is the goal of stereophonic recording - an illusion of presence, naturalness and reality. How effective that illusion is depends entirely upon those boxes and what's inside them, as well as on the wires that connects them and the space they're setup in (much the same as the space the orchestra plays in has a profound effect on how they sound). I think most folks don't take the time to setup their system to take advantage of that illusion, either because they don't care about it, or are not aware it is possible. What makes one box better than another is whatever the 'one' does to make the sound coming out of the speakers sound more like live music. To refine the performance of any of the boxes means to design the circuitry better, use better components, and make the components you do use synchronize well together. Much like designing a performance race car, or a fine musical instrument. You cannot just randomly throw together the best parts available for the task. To succeed it requires great skill and knowledge, and even some creativity combined with that awareness of how those parts interact with each other to create "the whole". To really appreciate this, as far as the stereo is concerned, you'd have to actually sit down in the right spot (the sweet spot), and listen yourself. Nothing could explain it better, or not explain it at all should you not hear or appreciate the illusion. Just as one may not hear or appreciate the differences in two violins, the same holds true for a stereo; you may not hear, and or care about any differences that exist. Anyway, if you have time when you're next over I'd be happy to demonstrate it to you if you are interested. It is not something you'd appreciate very much at a distance from outside of the sweet spot, though certainly there are many qualities that extend to listening elsewhere which make the music occur as more natural and present. None can match the qualities you'd hear sitting in the right spot.

Please feel free to keep your own comments coming. I've enjoyed the input.
Often the best way to play the 'better' game is to put tubes into the discussion. Many people who asked me that question became truly amazed when first exposed to tubes.
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