Dealer behavior issue


I would like opinions as to whether members feel that I’m being unreasonable to think
that a very popular dealer has not performed so well on my behalf, the customer. Last summer I ordered an expensive ARC amp understanding that delivery would most likely be in Oct which was fine with me. I did make a commitment which I understand.
My situation seriously changed due to my wife’s health but I agree that’s not his problem.
At this point I requested to pay a handsome restocking fee, 2-3k, can’t remember the amount but he was cavalier saying why would I want to do this?
So that was that.
The unit is about to be delivered and as I’ll immediately resell the unopened box I gave him a last offer.
The transaction had a current unit model trade in that retailed for 8k and is a favorite product of his and he carries it.
Yesterday I offered to give him this unit as the restock fee with 90 days to fully refund me.
I have received no response so he didn’t like my offer which is his right. I have spent over 40k retail over the last two years with him with no problems.
So in the end I changed my mind which is the lowest form of audio behavior. Was I foolish to think this guy would accommodate me? The product I offered to GIVE him will fly out his door for $4k .
This is just business as usual ?
4425
Per lendingtree

Consumers have the right to dispute a credit card purchase, whether it was posted in error,fraudulent in nature, or if the merchant didn't provide satisfactory goods or services. Challenge fraud charges immediately, but only file other types of disputes as soon as you made an effort to resolve the issue with the merchant.You typically need to file a dispute within 60 days of the transaction; however, the specific timeframe will highly depend on the type of dispute you're submitting.

This doesn't seem to hit any of those
If you paid by credit card; call the credit card company and file a dispute of charges. Not a custom order, and it hasn’t been delivered, unless they are made to order, I don’t see why you shouldn’t get a full refund. The transaction has not been completed. Geesh, after $50K ! I can’t see why he wouldn’t be more cooperative.
@4425

" The unit is about to be delivered and as I’ll immediately resell the unopened box I gave him a last offer. "
"The unit is about to be delivered", does this mean that it is in transit , or your understanding that it will be delivered sometime in October?
" I’ll immediately resell the unopened box ", so what do you think you'll take as a loss if you sell it unopened versus your restocking fee scenario?





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well based on all the prior deals i simply
thought he wouldn’t freak out over losing one high dollar deal especially when offered large restock fees. i do trust him to come through with delivery.  he’s not dishonest. just a bit greedy without the long view in mind.,this was an eye opener to me
I only deal with the owner. He is out of state and ok to send to my no dealer area. I expect he’s heard it all and my problem is not his problem. I think that has nothing to do with what his behavior should have been. 
Ive bought a lot of equipment from him and we’d had a fine relationship.I do vacillate at times on purchases but have always pulled the trigger.
Im just amazed that he values me so little. 
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Business as usual would be for you to walk. You haven't taken delivery so good luck enforcing payment on you. Walk. Just Do It.
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also i think giving him a true 8k item that worst case sells for 4k was a fairly steep price as a restock fee. but i offered it
if not shipped to dealer yet it’s hard to see what ARCcould offer. 
finally he raves about this new ARC product which I’m sure is true. why so worried to stock given that he’ll have it at cost-4k
Elizabeth. I haven’t sent the trade unit yet but the cash portion has been fully paid.
The only reason he might think I may not buy from him again is that I explained the health situation which may diminish future purchases.
This guy is pretty well known and well regarded(i think).
To not accommodate me in any manner is very disturbing and only come the conclusion he’s greedy. This is out of character for him
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well this dealer among others now always say “i’ve already” paid for it so my hands are tied. Pretty lame. 
I don’t know what ARC would say.
A couple more facts:
I actually spent over 50k with him and he won’t agree to help me at all when I resell it. 

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it was not a special order unit. standard ARC amp. A new model in fact that will sell well. he acts like he can’t arrange anything w ARC to assuage the situation. Just didn’t want to help me out.
The fact that you've already dropped $40K with him and he treats you like that, speaks volumes. 
Why would you have to pay a restocking fee if the item was never shipped or opened? This whole scenario makes no sense to me! There should be no cost to you for anything. Am I missing something here????