why do so many discussions turn contentious?

mwatsme,

I think you nailed it:

"I think it’s because many of these (mostly) guys have a lot of money/time/effort invested in the hobby, and it has become a significant part of their self-identity. Different ideas threaten that investment and identity, so they lash-out in defense (fear) or offense (pride). We (myself included) should all remember to, "Fear nothing and respect everything.", as it would likely result in an online environment reading less like tabloid drama, and more like helpful support."

Lots of good points. Let’s all now agree that the reasons may be many, but we can and need to do better. Play nice and be respectful!

@whart 

Getting old, but in the process, seem to have less and less to get angry about, at least as relates to the topics relevant to this forum.

+1, same here.

Nothing much to add to this discussion except maybe we should consider the consequences of bad behavior on these forums that reaches the level where new members and potential members decide not to participate.
We are what we tolerate.

This thread is good for right now, people are paying attention to it today. But most will move on to the next subject tomorrow. That's the current level of attention nowadays. I do hope it works long term but I wouldn't count on it. Just ignore the trolls!

@mitch2 - fair point. I took a break for a year or so from this forum b/c I found the signal to noise ratio deteriorated.
But what are my options, other than reporting what I consider to be an obnoxious post? I don't usually do that for several reasons. I see threads that are larded with political discussions and do just ignore them. 
Other than participating in good faith and encouraging same, what else can one do? I don't run this board, and think part of it really does have to do with the lack of moderation (with apologies to Tammy who has enough to do).
Beyond that, I think you are right, though, it isn't just what one tolerates, but if the rules aren't applied people are pretty quick to cross the line. Plus, what I may find offensive or stupid may be just peachy to others-- thus, I begin to question why I'm the one still here. (No, I'm not trying to suggest I'm leaving-- if I do it will be without fanfare--).