You might be an audiophile if...

With apologies to Mr. Jeff Foxworthy, thought it would be fun to come up with (clean) examples of the wretched excesses that us poor audiophiles are subject to. I'll start it off. Extra points for originality and wit.

You might be an audiophile if your stereo costs more than your car. Or your house.

You might be an audiophile if - you've ever had to choose between a girlfriend and a new pair of speakers.
your stereo system was put together by selecting equipment from Stereophile's Reccommended Components list!*>)
the power cord attached to your amplifier cost more than your amplifier!

I couldn't resist!*>)
if beg your friends not to but that BLOWS system at the super store, and convince them to give you the money to buy used off the 'Gon. If your sytstem is worth more than your car$(OK my car).
-you're listening to your system untill 1am, then get up to listen again at 6am, all bacause the power grid is 'quiet'

-you lock your living room door so the family can not come in to disturb you, and play dumb later "...sorry, I could not hear you, must of been that last movement..."

-you put a lock on your living room door to begin with