There was a guy on the computeraudiophile forum that bought a $3,700 facial cream (not kidding) to lubricate the speaker wire ends. It cost him $157 each time he listened to his system, as he reapplied each time. He went on and on about the amazing sound it made.
So far, that is the dumbest tweak I've heard...but the day is still young.
I visited the home of a high end distributor who has bowls of water strategically filled and placed around his room. I can't recall what his claim was, but when he was out of the room, I couldn't resist pouring a little water from one bowl into another. He didn't notice.
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