Steve,
Sounds like the ole "you don't love me as much as you do your _____ (fill in the blank) syndrome".
Seriously, if you are constantly blowing her off for the gear, than you own it and need to decide if she really is a priority or not. If she is, then begin acting like it and give her some attention.
If you are not blowing her off and she is just being unreasonable, then it's to help her see that. This is not the easy part - The most significant change for me understanding you guys is reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I was actually given the assignment by my boyfriend early in our relationship.
Two main take aways for me
- guys don't multitask well at all (it's ok, we're terrible at directions) and not to go up and start a conversation when you're doing something. When we do, we get pissed because we think that you're not listening - well, you're NOT - you're still reading the paper or watching a program or listening to music, or whatever it was.
- guys need their "cave time" when you just need to tune out especially when you are trying to solve a problem. You don't want to talk about it, you don't need our help, you just want to be left alone for a while.
Can you get your girlfriend to read this book? Then, you can sit down with her and help her understand that she needs to give you your time alone if she is not into sitting down with you and respect that.
Can you get her to sit down with you? If so, let her pick out the music, get her in the sweet spot, wait on her hand and foot - get her a glass of wine, and teach her to listen, really listen. Make it an intimate experience (we love that- and no, intimacy doesn't always mean a roll in the hay, it means closeness, too) When she finally hears the sound staging and the imaging, she's gotta be hooked.
Good luck!