Etiquette for a listening session?


'Sup?

Every now and then when my friends have nothing better to do, they'll acquiesce to my standing invite to come over to listen to some tunes on the main system downstairs. Over the years I've learned to choose my invites wisely, based on whether or not the invitee seems to evince any leaning towards or sympathy for audiophilia.

A few times I've been incredibly lucky and chanced upon a friend who doubles as an audiophile and we while away a happy evening and night spinning cd's and lp's and talking about the tracks and artists - and the drinks we have. We do talk, but between tracks or artists, not during. But a few times I've had people over, usually as part of a small group, who insist on talking over the track, much in the same way I constantly annoy my wife by talking during a movie.

The other weekend I invited over a couple, the husband with whom I play in a band; the wife whom I've never met. And while my wife and I and they nursed drinks and listened to tunes, his wife insisted on talking about whatever, bringing up pictures on her phone, and evincing every sign that she had never seriously considered the idea of a listening session to be something worthwhile.

Okay, I get it. It's not for everyone; analogous to if a friend who was into home theater had just gotten a new, hi-end projector had invited me over to watch a movie. Yes, I would have appreciated the clarity, etc. But it's still just a movie, no matter how much resolution there may be on a screen (actually, if there were indeed such a friend, I'd try to get into the video aspect as much as I'd like her or him to enjoy the audio, if only out of respect).

But it's also happened before, like with another (former) band member, another guitarist, who kept talking through the tracks while the rest of us tried (or pretended to try - I can only speak for myself) to listen.

So what's proper etiquette? Do I play the good host and let come what may? Do I lay down ground rules? I know that most people don't actively listen to music, nor appreciate the nuances of a good system, and usually don't care too much, either -- gearheads are gearheads, no matter the passion, and are appreciated only by other gearheads. Just as I remember, in retrospect, a few audiophiles when I was younger who obviously had good systems, but back then I neither knew nor cared about stuff like that, and so was much the same kind of person I'm complaining about now.

But how would you address that kind of behavior or reaction during a listening session?


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Asp307, to my defense, the 2 friends were all about the intense listening session.  Having not been involved in one before, they were curious.  My friend with the phone was just not being a good little zen grasshopper, and I encouraged him that if he would not distract himself, he would enjoy it more.  He did!  But that is a specific situation.  I would not behave that way to anyone anytime.
I don't expect every one in the world "outside" of our thing to get it, but a surprising number do--they could care less about the gear, but love to hear music presented in a way that is lively and visceral. For those who aren't interested, I don't impose my interest on them. I do far more listening alone than I do with others, but when guests who are interested come, they seem to know how to behave without any set of "rules." I have a dedicated room, and usually just ask what kind of music they like. Perhaps they realize that the experience is unusual, it's a novelty for many who aren't exposed to "serious" playback set-ups.  If this lady wasn't interested, and demonstrated that by talking over the music and playing with her phone, easy answer- don't invite her to listen next time. Life is too short- and sometimes too long-- to spend your time in a way that makes you dissatisfied. I understand that in marriage, or relationships, there is a certain amount of socializing that is necessary if only to keep your mate happy. But, if there is something I don't want to do, or people I'm not really that interested in spending time with, I don't. 
In my ersatz defense, @asp307  and others, I had invited my friend over to listen to some tunes - specifically - and he texted, "Can I bring my wife?"  Which turned it into a dinner invitation. So should I have abandoned the original invite and just made it a dinner get-together?
And again - this is not a gender thing at all. A few male friends have also, as @gshepardbuster mentioned, shown themselves to be afraid of silence.

I hadn't considered that a factor before but it makes sense. I'm perfectly happy being alone for hours (or days) in a forest, desert, or in front of speakers or a book. Many are not.