i'm looking for something that may not exist


sam here & i'm looking for a small portable device like a small mp3 player that when you turn it on it makes all your digital audio sound like the finest first press vintage vinyl? has to be very portable & fit in your pocket with no cables to plugin to your phone or dac player.you simply turn it on & all your digital audio sounds like pure analog warm vinyl without the clicks,pops,scratches,surface noise,tracking errors,ect.& the volume control could be modified to act as a tone knob only unlike a simple bass, mid, treble, by adjusting the volume it would be like swapping out the phono cartridge to get that perfect sound every time.plus i don't want blue tooth so it has to work on the earths natural electromagnetic frequencies kind of like natures wifi? if this exist can someone let me know where i can buy one because i love the sound of vintage vinyl i just want the convenience of digital audio thanks guitar sam
guitarsam
I’m not a vinyl guy.  I also don’t do much in the way of portable listening but I have been out of town, visiting the wife’s clan, using a Bluetooth headphone and a planar magnetic headphone that is tethered to my digital player, and I am in a reflective mood about portable audio.
   Sam, I think that all you can ask of a digital player is that it faithfully retrieve the data in the digits and convert into sound.  Your requirement for wireless limits you to Bluetooth.  I therefore recommend you get a portable player with really good Bluetooth performance, and good Bluetooth headphones or buds to match.  My head phones are Sony WX1000 and I use an LG VX50 cellphone as my player.  I am happy with it but not sure that the goal you describe is what I am hearing 
By the way, you want a player that will play lossless files, not mp3.  I think some of the ire you are attracting is due to the fact that perhaps you are unaware that mp3 is compressed, lossy sound, and you are asking for a system that will turn compressed files into uncompressed
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