When you own an expensive stylus, it’s simply disconcerting to play records with deep scratches and gouges that will result in loud POPs at best, and groove jumps at worst. It SEEMS like that would induce more wear on the diamond - but is it enough to matter if most of your collection is "clean"? And have there ever been any formal studies to the effects of such records on stylus wear? We don’t seem to have too much in the way of studies (or agreement) on stylus wear rates even in typical conditions. And what about the end groove "pop". Does that wear the stylus faster than a clean groove, even though the linear speed is very slow at the end? A guy posted a couple years ago about accidentally leaving his cartridge running in the end groove over a long weekend - he said the stylus was toast. 100 hours in normal grooves wouldn’t kill a stylus like that - or was it lack of cleaning that was the problem?
I have 2 arms on my main table, and any records I know to be very rough/scratchy, or generally suspect, will get played on the arm with the "lesser" (but still expensive) cartridge. Records with damaged grooves that skip will be tossed in the trash when identified. Beyond that, I try to not be too paranoid as that can kill the enjoyment of our systems - but I do exercise caution. I do have one record I really like with an end groove that fails to "catch" (Dust: "Hard Attack"), sending the stylus careening into its water-damaged label. Yikes! I wrote a note on the label to remind myself, lol (though these days I also use massive record weights that will block the headshell from advancing over the label).
And I do agree that our ears are one of the best tools for detecting a worn stylus. Especially listen for sonic grunge on the inner grooves - and try not to worry too much!