Am I asking too much?

Well for the Klipsch, Fidelity Research and the Phillips I have the matching factory SUT.
I use the Auditorium Hommage T2 (Seteophile class A+; ~$5k new, $3K or so used) )with the Ortofon Cadenza and the Auditorium A23 with the Denon-103 - the one is again developed to be specifically used with this cart.

FR has a few ones (I think the 4 and 5) which are supposedly really nice.
VAS audio MC-1 MK II is also really good (~$1200)
Many good ones from Bob's devices etc.

What phono amp are you using?

my phono amp is a Synthesis Brio

mdalton, I'm late in the game here but tell us what length and which arm wand do you have? This will determine which cartridges are appropriate for your arm. The 3P has arm wands available made of various density woods. For more compliant cartridges you want the lighter wands. I think the lightest is teak. If you don't already have the teak wand it is probably a good one to have. You can always add weight for more compliant cartridges. Congratulations by the way. That is a beautiful well designed arm. 

Setting up a cartridge is not hard at all and it would benefit you to learn. If you can use a tiny screwdriver and tweezers you are all set. For what you will spend to have it installed you can buy the appropriate tools. If you need assistance I am sure several of us, myself included, would be happy to do this in real time. Did the Reed come with a protractor? 

I'm not sure all dealers are capable of doing a top notch set up. There's a big difference in performance between it works and sounds ok and really dialed in. When I lived in NY, I used Mike Trei as a set up guy- he's done countless turntable set ups and does many for dealers and distributors at shows. Is that worth $350 or whatever Mike currently charges? I guess it depends on your perspective. You are spending 7 grand or so on a cartridge. For me, I want to get the most out of the equipment and vinyl is not plug and play. Even for those of us who have been doing this a while. I set up Lord knows how many turntables back in the day, but I think we now know how much more can be extracted using a good arm, etc. 
When I moved to Austin, I found there was nobody around that did high end turntable set ups. So, I had to do I myself (a skill that I hadn't used in a while). The Koetsus aren't the easiest to set up either b/c the cantilever is pretty well hidden by the body, at least on the stone bodies. Sure, you can do it yourself and it's good to learn. But, do you want to do so on an expensive cartridge? I'd use somebody like Mike Trei in an instant if he were local to me. Others may have different priorities. I don't think the fact that a dealer uses an outside set up person is an indication that they are ripping you off.