How do you know what you're missing?


Without listening to better systems than your own, how do you go about targeting what to improve? How do you know what is possible? It's a case of you don't know what you don't know. I get that indistinguishable from live is the definition of high fidelity, but I don't see that as a realistic aspiration without a dedicated built to spec room and a few orders of magnitude more expensive gear.

Reading reviews or forums can't possibly educate as well as demonstration. "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture," applies to the hardware as well as the media. I've isolated myself for many years prior to current circumstances. I can't remember the last time I actually went and listened to someone else's system. For that matter it's been years since I heard live music, too. (I don't count serenading the cat at home.)

Is it a case of you'll know it when you see it? Is this not a common problem? Or do you just not know it is a problem?
cat_doorman
I've heard having friends with good systems helps.

I don't have those, so I can't help you.
I'll bet there are some community bands and small venues for solo players and small ensembles that you could get out and listen to. That would give you a frame of reference anyway.
In all seriousness, you need to approach this like buying icecream rather than a bed.

What I mean is, there's a lot of flavors out there. There's no one perfect flavor for anyone.  All we can do is buy a system that shoots down the middle for our room, our listening habits and the music we listen to.

Having said this, nothing beats experience and finding others who hear like you do, or who at least have a point of reference you can relate to.

Above all, IGNORE prices!! It's just a matter of economics that magazines want to make us believe that the $200,000 speaker is worth $198,000 more than the $2,000 speaker.  Develop your own tastes and be true to yourself.

No reason to get the super deluxe multi-padded bicycle seat if your tush is rock hard and doesn't feel a thing. :)

Best,
E
@cat_doorman, you have posed the question I’ve asked myself over the course of the past 15 years or so since I’ve gotten back into my two channel system. 
The dragon I’ve been chasing is the sound I heard, 16 or 17 years ago at the beginning of my serious audio journey, of a high end set up in an audio shop that seemed to me a completely transparent, three dimensional, gorgeous and mesmerizing presentation. I have no recollection of what any of the gear was, but as I was listening to it, I thought, oh my gosh I never knew a stereo could sound like this, this is what I want.

After that experience I simply picked an element, one at a time, in my system and made a change. When I upgraded my speakers it made a big improvement, when I upgraded my cartridge it made an improvement, when I upgraded my turntable it made an improvement, when I upgraded my CD player it made an improvement, when I went from a solid-state integrated to a tube preamp with a side of the road solid-state amplifier it made a big improvement, when I replaced that solid-state amp with a tube amp it made an enormous improvement. All of this has taken place over the course of 15 or 16 years which has allowed me to afford the changes I’ve made in my system and appreciate each change as I made it.
Live music is always a good experience, and as everyone says, venues play an enormous roll in the quality of the sound. My wife and I have been fortunate enough to have attended quite a few concerts at Disney Hall in Los Angeles over the past several years. Disney Hall’s acoustics are exquisite. Whenever I am in there, I think to myself, this is what I want my stereo to sound like; open, effortless, shimmering, satisfying. 

I found Jim Smith’s book, How to Get Better Sound, very helpful. His main point is to work with your room and the equipment that you have in order to optimize the quality of the presentation and maximize the enjoyment you get out of your system.

if you are fortunate enough to live nearby a brick and mortar audio shop, establishing a relationship with them can be very helpful in this pursuit. Of course that relationship does presume that at some point you are actually going to spend your money to buy some gear from them. In my case, I’ve been working with a particular shop for the past several years and because they know me as a legitimate customer they have been very generous in allowing me to demo gear I’ve been interested in in my home. Some of the gear includes two different amplifiers, a Bluesound Vault and a Chord Qutest dac. I did end up buying one of the amplifiers, the vault, and the dac. I was in the market for all three, but it was so valuable to be able to hear them in my living room.

If you have a friend who is also into this hobby, that can be a great opportunity to hear another system in another real room. As a matter fact I have a friend who is willing to lend me his pair of Harbeth Super HL 5+ speakers to set up in my room while he’s out of town for a couple of weeks. 

And in answer to your last question, what if I’m not even aware that a problem is a problem? I’d say that I was absolutely astounded at how big a difference a high-quality amplifier made in the overall presentation of my system. So in other words, now I am completely aware that everything relates to everything else and everything sounds.

My apologies for the long self-indulgent ramble, but it’s a Friday afternoon, and I have a little time on my hands. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy the music, I know that’s what I’m going to do this weekend!
You have to hear it in your won system  usually having a network where you can each come to the others home with a piece of gear or borrow from a local dealer  Many cable companies all ow you a trial period - musical direct has a trail period

But you don't know what you are missing until you hear it in your own system.

Happy Listening