Why do some think "music" (not gear, trading, etc.) is the ultimate end?

Some people like hardware, others prefer software. Some men liked Ginger, some liked Mary Ann. In the case of music vs equipment, one is necessary to and enhances, the other.

A relative who recently auditioned my system (a Maggie owner!) decided, after some discussion that I was "merely" listening to equipment and not to music. I was dumbfounded and could only reply: "Something wrong with that?" Crickets!
Back in the day, I bought a new, special order, Mustang Mach I in a Thunderbird color. Gorgeous. No relative accused me of "merely" wanting to go fast. They knew that this guy is more complicated than that. I might as well go ahead and whine a bit that a family member might actually think I could sit for hours and listen to equipment! Hello!
The true objection probably has to do with the amount of money we spend on what is primarily a solitary, obviously pleasurable and often intrusive hobby that many see as spoiling their own conception of music as a background for Whatever.  I just bought an expensive recorder. The flute thing. Relative asks, "Is it a real recorder?" Honestly, would any audiophile settle for a plastic instrument? But no accusations of "You just want it for the cool wood!" Need I go on?
Maybe if I leave my expensive recorder out on the table during listening sessions others will understand that I have reason to listen intently to everything involving music--not just the mood of the orchestrations. I listen critically to: my gear, the gear at (usually Qobuz), the gear at the recording session, the musicians’ gear, and finally the mics and then the actual sound I want to catch in mid-air. With new technology, I’m usually evaluating recording quality and performance quality. Sometimes the sound quality of a specific instrument. Is that the same as "music?"

For me, buying gear is a difficult task, not really fun I also am not too keen on following the advice of an expert on what to get so I do the DD myself. Though I want to hear their opinion. The internet is a great equalizer for me on this regard.

Listening to music is easy and fun. Only problem is I spend too much time posting like this while I listen to music instead of doing my actual work.

I recently made some audio buys (after all the DD I did) and audio tweaks that make me extremely satisfied with the sound I am now getting. I feel like the hard part is now done and the easy road lies ahead. 

Oddly, I find the same thing true of cars- I drove them. Yes, I understand the Pebble Beach mentality, but to me it’s sad to see a piece of machinery meant for the joy of driving sitting idle, perhaps rolled off a transport to be set up at a show or museum, and then returned to it’s garage slot once its appearance at a show is over. (There was a guy in Jersey with an F-40 in a room purpose built for viewing the car-- when he went bankrupt, a wall had to be removed to get access to the car).
A friend I had on the East Coast when I lived in NY visited me the first time by driving his GT 40 over to my place. Not the Ford re-boot from the early 2000’s but a real GT 40 that ran at LeMans back in the day. The type of car that most would put in museum. Not that guy- he drove it.
Sure, you can collect audio gear. I’ve known several people who do-- I have gear I don’t use that sits around in a few rooms, but I hardly consider myself a collector of vintage gear. I try and use the equipment for its intended purpose. My Quad ESLs, which I bought in 1973-4 (sorry, I’m a little imprecise about the year) were restored a few years ago and are now running in a vintage system I set up. It’s a great little system and I enjoy having and listening to that speaker. As a piece of industrial art, it’s a bit odd, but I will have owned this pair for almost 50 years. Admittedly, they sat dormant for many years when I used other speakers, awaiting refurbishment.

Do what you like. I think the thread that the OP was referring to didn’t say gear collecting was a bad thing, or that enjoying music was "superior" to gear collecting, though it is really the ultimate purpose for which this stuff was designed. I can appreciate good electro/mechanical design for its own sake. I just happen to use my hi-fi as a means to an end. The fact that there is some intrinsic beauty to the design, manufacturing quality or other aspects of the equipment is simply a nice by-product. Some of the gear I prize would not win any awards for aesthetics. But does that make it inferior? I don’t think so.
Maybe I missed the point of your post as a rejoinder to the other thread, @hilde45, but who said you can’t love gear for its own sake?

The hunt for new gear, cars, watches and, you name it, is a powerful force too. That force is more powerful than the acquisition of same. Once you get  the new amp or car the pull forces towards it diminish I think. There is no end in trading and wanting something else. With music, it think that formulation does not really apply so, in a sense, music is an end game. I love music and I love gear. Happy listening folks. Enjoy your tunes and enjoy your gear.