Why do some think "music" (not gear, trading, etc.) is the ultimate end?

A relative who recently auditioned my system (a Maggie owner!) decided, after some discussion that I was "merely" listening to equipment and not to music. I was dumbfounded and could only reply: "Something wrong with that?" Crickets!
Back in the day, I bought a new, special order, Mustang Mach I in a Thunderbird color. Gorgeous. No relative accused me of "merely" wanting to go fast. They knew that this guy is more complicated than that. I might as well go ahead and whine a bit that a family member might actually think I could sit for hours and listen to equipment! Hello!
The true objection probably has to do with the amount of money we spend on what is primarily a solitary, obviously pleasurable and often intrusive hobby that many see as spoiling their own conception of music as a background for Whatever.  I just bought an expensive recorder. The flute thing. Relative asks, "Is it a real recorder?" Honestly, would any audiophile settle for a plastic instrument? But no accusations of "You just want it for the cool wood!" Need I go on?
Maybe if I leave my expensive recorder out on the table during listening sessions others will understand that I have reason to listen intently to everything involving music--not just the mood of the orchestrations. I listen critically to: my gear, the gear at (usually Qobuz), the gear at the recording session, the musicians’ gear, and finally the mics and then the actual sound I want to catch in mid-air. With new technology, I’m usually evaluating recording quality and performance quality. Sometimes the sound quality of a specific instrument. Is that the same as "music?"

For me, buying gear is a difficult task, not really fun I also am not too keen on following the advice of an expert on what to get so I do the DD myself. Though I want to hear their opinion. The internet is a great equalizer for me on this regard.

Listening to music is easy and fun. Only problem is I spend too much time posting like this while I listen to music instead of doing my actual work.

I recently made some audio buys (after all the DD I did) and audio tweaks that make me extremely satisfied with the sound I am now getting. I feel like the hard part is now done and the easy road lies ahead. 

Oddly, I find the same thing true of cars- I drove them. Yes, I understand the Pebble Beach mentality, but to me it’s sad to see a piece of machinery meant for the joy of driving sitting idle, perhaps rolled off a transport to be set up at a show or museum, and then returned to it’s garage slot once its appearance at a show is over. (There was a guy in Jersey with an F-40 in a room purpose built for viewing the car-- when he went bankrupt, a wall had to be removed to get access to the car).
A friend I had on the East Coast when I lived in NY visited me the first time by driving his GT 40 over to my place. Not the Ford re-boot from the early 2000’s but a real GT 40 that ran at LeMans back in the day. The type of car that most would put in museum. Not that guy- he drove it.
Sure, you can collect audio gear. I’ve known several people who do-- I have gear I don’t use that sits around in a few rooms, but I hardly consider myself a collector of vintage gear. I try and use the equipment for its intended purpose. My Quad ESLs, which I bought in 1973-4 (sorry, I’m a little imprecise about the year) were restored a few years ago and are now running in a vintage system I set up. It’s a great little system and I enjoy having and listening to that speaker. As a piece of industrial art, it’s a bit odd, but I will have owned this pair for almost 50 years. Admittedly, they sat dormant for many years when I used other speakers, awaiting refurbishment.

Do what you like. I think the thread that the OP was referring to didn’t say gear collecting was a bad thing, or that enjoying music was "superior" to gear collecting, though it is really the ultimate purpose for which this stuff was designed. I can appreciate good electro/mechanical design for its own sake. I just happen to use my hi-fi as a means to an end. The fact that there is some intrinsic beauty to the design, manufacturing quality or other aspects of the equipment is simply a nice by-product. Some of the gear I prize would not win any awards for aesthetics. But does that make it inferior? I don’t think so.
Maybe I missed the point of your post as a rejoinder to the other thread, @hilde45, but who said you can’t love gear for its own sake?

The hunt for new gear, cars, watches and, you name it, is a powerful force too. That force is more powerful than the acquisition of same. Once you get  the new amp or car the pull forces towards it diminish I think. There is no end in trading and wanting something else. With music, it think that formulation does not really apply so, in a sense, music is an end game. I love music and I love gear. Happy listening folks. Enjoy your tunes and enjoy your gear. 

The music is what drives me to by gear, but as an engineer I admire the design and craftsmanship of the gear.

Years ago I abandoned LPs for digital, just my preference. However now I almost consider buying some exotic turntable just because they look so cool.