I was not enjoying the performance until I ......

Again, I agree. Getting your system in balance is first and foremost.
It is the goal of every audiophile.
Sources should sound right the overwhelming majority of the time without equalization. It’s just the odd CD or stream that doesn’t make it that needs help.

I have not had any tone controls since the early 70s. I can't say I miss them but it's just a personal thing with me. If it works for you that's fine with me. 

System in sync? Nobodies system is in sync. Even under the best of circumstances there will be +- 5db variations in frequency response. Worse, the left and right speakers will not be exactly the same causing havoc with imaging. Impulse testing and digital frequency response control are the only way to deal with this. Once you know what perfectly flat sounds like you can make modifications to suit taste. You can see this application on my system page. I do not change response for various recordings. I prefer to listen to what the engineer intended. My system is so detailed I can almost always hear through to the instruments even listening to such stuff as Lois Armstrongs Hot Five and Hot Seven.

For those against a tone control, isn't all your gear collectively a tone control?
Amp, pre, ic's, speaker cables, power cords, tubes, room acoustics....
These are all individually selected to give you the correct 'tone' for your musical tastes. So why not a turn of a knob?

One of the reasons I bought a Croft pre-amp is it has both a left and a right knob . Since the amp  is a all hard wired  by Herr Croft himself
it is nothing but a great help .