How much reality do you really need?

rvpiano, letting the struggle to achieve the absolute sound or whatever sound you are looking for ruin your enjoyment of music would be IMHO dysfunctional. If you are unhappy with your system, fix it. Don't get mad at the music.
twoleftears, you are exactly right. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. That is a reality no one can change. You and I can argue about the definition of east and west but the reality does not change. How you react to that reality or how that reality affects your life is another topic. 
HiFi systems exist to play back music. How well they function in that regard is a continuum from terrible to wonderful. The problem is defining where your system exists on that continuum. That evaluation is further clouded by the differences in perception between us and our lack of language to quantify what we hear. My experience with the best systems is that everyone that hears them readily agrees that these systems are incredible. I interpret this phenomenon to mean that locked in us is the experience of live music and when we hear it we recognize it right away.
All or enough of the ques are present to convince you you are listening to a live performance. This seems to apply to everyone that has gone to live performances.  

 mglik - Isn't appreciation a function of the motivation and experience of the listener? I.e., the more you put into it the more you get out of it?

dweller - This is usually the case. I know that each improvement in my system brings more appreciation and enjoyment. The upgrade process seems never ending and many who put more and more into their systems not only experience diminishing returns but find that their "improvement", at times, spoils the sound and the experience.
But, mostly, one never imagines that the SQ can be better until they hear the effect of their upgrade. And, IME, price usually can be paralleled with quality.

Mijostyn,

it’s certainly not a matter of getting mad at the music. That wouldn’t be dysfunctional, that would be crazy.
I can’t believe you’re not aware that a common thread of many ongoing Audiogon discussions has concerned the problem of being so obsessed with the sound of one’s system that it gets in the way of actually listening to the music. It’s not a question of fixing your system. It’s the nature of this hobby that we pay so much attention to the sound.
If that’s dysfunctional, then it’s possible a large portion of us are occasionally dysfunctional.

Mglik - The "more" I'm referring to has to do with the listener, not the system hardware. If you are a regular concert goer or have attended many in your lifetime, you have a larger knowledge-base at your disposal.
When you say "this sounds real", it carries more weight because you have a clearer idea of what real sounds like.