You mean someone buys this stuff?

I own six turntables...I can swap one out for another and the wife says nothing....lol. she has no idea I guess...she did notice the speakers...they are gargantuan stand mounters...

Perfect album for those alien looking speakers. The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars.

"El Chunko" looks quite solid.
https://www.audiowood.com/shop/el-chunko

Keeping inline with the mass loading camp. Perhaps there is a discount at checkout if you provide your  contractor license #?

Yup, someone somewhere will sometime buy this 'stuff', much like the 'floating platter' TT and things beyond the rational regards of the readers here...

An ad for 'conformable ear buds'....You remove the ear bud itself, heat the ear piece itself, stick it into your ears, and wait for them to cool.

How hot?  Wasn't specific on that detail....
If you needed restraint in the molding phase, likely too hot...*G*

Affordability aside, I could definitely see a demand for the coffee-table / turntable. Imagine sitting there with a friend or your honey going through a stack of albums with a glass of wine as you listen to your favorite cuts. It’s a favorite pastime that is convenient and charming. It tells everyone that audio is a primary entertainment for your family (bad move if you have little kids though). What does it say about someone that their living room is focused on vinyl rather than a television? Definitely a market there.