How can I establish a reference level?

ADDENDUM:

After listening to a lot of music these past few months, I believe that -17dB as set on the preamp is closer to a true reference level.

Lots of music is really loud! I mean how many times can you listen to, say, Aretha singing RESPECT at a realistic level and not go deaf? Or take Aerosmith at full volume? No.

Trifonov playing "The Carnegie Recital" sounds very realistic at that level. Turn it down and it is just like moving further back in the hall. Same with Gould playing Contrapunctus 1-9 on Organ.  WOW!

As an aside, there was a Tip someone posted over in the Analog Forum for us old geezers about trimming our ear hair for better fidelity. And that reminded me that I need to cut my hair!

Happy Holidays!

Mike

UPDATE:

After pushing the 4367s around for awhile with the powerful SS amps (AHB2's in MONO configuration) i decided to try some lower power tube amps.

First in was a pair of CAD-300SE. They are 300B SET with 11W output. I found that I must be much closer to the speakers and keep the volume way down. First impression was they do a lot of what the AHB2's do but quieter. Then I thought "I guess I don't care what those singers are saying - it sounds so beautiful." Then a mechanical transformer hum became annoying, especially since the volume is down and I had to sit so close. Also, the tube amps are much more finicky WRT line voltage. A Variac was pressed into service for regulation. These amps need 117V not the 121V which is more usual here.

Next I put in the ARC Ref 75SE. That was a bust. V3 flamed with a runaway bias. I called ARC service and they are so backlogged that can't take the unit for 5 months. I am on a waiting list for the repair. Go figure. At least it didn't fry a speaker.

Next was a single AHB2 and it just has a little less jump than the pair of AHB2's.

Next is 25W of glory in the form of a Luxman MQ-88uC.   I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! It too needs the voltage down to 115V. Push Pull KT-88 in triode. Beautiful and relaxing sound on the JBL4367 with NO Fatigue! And just enough power to turn it up a bit.

On the way is a Pass Labs XA-25. I can't wait to hear how it plays with the big speakers.

As for reference level, Volumes equivalent to realistic levels are just to tiring though possible with these speakers and the AHB2's

So there you have it. I hope this is entertaining to some readers. It certainly is to me.

@mikewerner 

Very interesting. i found that when I optimized my playback chain with low noise, low distortion gear (Benchmark DAC3 B + HPA4 + AHB2), I'm able to listen without fatigue at higher volume levels and for as long as I want.

I've owned gear in the past that output higher distortion and they always sounded good at certain volume levels or with certain genres but the Benchmark system lets me enjoy everything I want to listen to without problem.

In any case, if you're interested in how some studios may set their reference levels, here's an article from Sound On Sound - 'Establishing Project Studio Reference Levels'. Maybe you've already come across it yourself. Personally, I listen to music around 72 dB average SPL C weighted when measured with my RadioShack meter. The volume knob setting to achieve this varies with source material (e.g. -20 dB on most classical, -26 on most jazz, and -30 on contemporary pop music). I call it comfortably loud.

FYI: I set my volume level at the minimum acceptable level. I turn it up and I slowly lower the volume to the point where I don’t lose anything. Your long-term hearing health will thank you.

Yage- thank you for the link. I remember seeing that article awhile back and the reread was definitely worthwhile. To be clear, my room is small. The fatigue I speak of with levels 85dB+ has more to do with that than the equipment. Lots of room gain. I have done what I can to treat it but still, high levels are tiring. 

72dB is a good recommendation. Thank you for your response.