OP,
I completely understand. I struggled with that the first couple decades or more of my pursuing the high end. Part of the issue was I was dealing with solid state equipment in the 70’s - 90’s. I could write many pages on the subject.
Today, you can get warm / detailed solid state and very detailed tube equipment. However, different companies specialize in different sound types. So, it is pretty easy to mix stuff and get a bad outcome. I have run out from Magico speakers demosmore than once… not because they are harsh speakers, but because they are so fast and accurate… paired with the wrong equipment and they can sound terrible.
So, from reading your post I believe you are moving too fast. One must be really careful and methodical… and slowly build a system one carefully chosen component at a time with the end in mind. Start with the right speakers.
Let me underscore something someone else said. Shooting for the sound of real music can be an incredibly helpful guide (although not a requirement , nothing wrong with shooting for something else). I could write tons on this. But my systems started converging on great sound when I learned what real un-amplified music sounds like (amplified music throws a layer of amps and speakers making it impossible to be a standard to which compare your system to.) In the beginning I just wanted it to sound better to me… the problem was that some music would sound better, but most would sound worse.
Every chance I got for over a decade I would listen to every acoustic instrument I could, jazz clubs, symphony, 7th row center for every concert for ten years. The result was I had a clear understanding of what the music should sound like. This made the objective clear.
To get to where you want to go: First step, find the right speakers. For me it was Sonus Faber, first Cremona, then Olympica, and now Amati Traditional. These speakers when fed with the right signal are as natural and musical as you will find, while being very detailed. Once you have the speakers, you want to listen to them, break them in for at least 500 hours, so you know the sound intimately. Then, given what you are hearing choose a preamp, then amp.
There is a very well known combination of Sonus Faber speakers, with Audio Research electronics and Transparent interconnects that delivers highly detailed, natural, musical, realistic sound (see my system… I did not use the rule of thumb, I got there by swapping and upgrading for forty years). Also, Wilson Speakers and Rowland for holographic, if you mostly listen to rock then McIntosh and B&W speakers are a classic.
What is key, is not to blow up the system and start again quickly with a whole bunch of new equipment. Spend a lot of time finding your speakers… then step by step swap in carefully chosen components to achieve the sound you want.
If you have not yet read Robert Harley’s book, The Complete Guide to High End Audio, I recommend that as your next step.
If all of this sounds like more than yo are up for. Go to a city. Find a dealer that you feel like you can trust and have home help you put together a complete system.
