I also play the drums, just not very well. You are right. It is impossible for most systems to produce the sound and volume of a crash cymbal, at a distance of one meter. Some horn systems can do it. However, at a concert you are not one meter away from the cymbals. It is very possible for a system to reproduce the volume of a cymbal at 10 meters. As a matter of fact, it is not even the treble that is the most difficult to get right, it is the bass. If you want to hear cymbals that make one squint, listen to any early ECM record. In the era we did not use any tone controls or EQ some of these records were not listenable. Violins and female voices can do the same thing, it is called sibilance. It is so common in systems that many people think it is normal! Many PA systems are also sibilant. Humans do not play instruments that hurt to listen to. They would toss them in the bin. Female voices are attractive for a reason. Sibilance is not normal and if you hear it in a system there is a problem. My definition of system includes the room. With EQ you can get rid of it buy programming in a Gundry Dip. When I evaluate systems I always play a string quartet that I know really well. If there is a problem it will find it.
It is not that a system should be perfectly accurate, this is impossible. But, a system, given the right recording, should, and can make you feel, with eyes closed, that you are listening to a real event. I have heard exactly three systems that could do just that, bass included. I have also heard a few that could do it with certain genres of music, acoustic stuff. Some of us prefer systems that are so colored any semblance of reality is nonexistent. It is not my cup of tea, but everyone is entitled to their own flavor.
When I play Waiting for Columbus for audiophile friends they are almost universally taken aback by the power of Richie Hayward's drums. The last one commented," gee, I am not used to this!