Big speakers, are they really the best way to get great sound?

I want one of each. 

@daveyf --

When you describe the sound of the mega $$ system you’re referring to as "somewhat larger than life," then what do you gather is your predominant reference here - live acoustic sound, or mainly the sound presented by your own setup? In your last paragraph, you wrote:

I listen in a very small room, and by necessity in the near field, yet I think the overall intimacy of this type of listening experience is better for me ...

I believe it would be fair to say that if what you’re being treated with sonically on a daily(?) basis is from a near field listening-based set-up with small 2-way "mini monitors" as seen on your systems page (and a great setup it appears to be - I know those Sonus Faber’s quite well, and they sound exquisite), then judging whether what’s heard from a much bigger system/room is actually larger than life-sounding may be somewhat hampered or "colored" as a credible observation. The question remains whether a larger set-up by necessity does hold the potential to give a more accurate representation of a live event, but in my experience that’s a definite ’yes.’

To say the the overall sound was BIG would be accurate, but also I noticed something else, that I typically hear with big speaker systems. Generally, the speakers were right on edge of overloading the room, depending on music, the dreaded bass boom could be heard. But, the whole presentation was greater in impact than most any smaller speaker system, yet it was almost unlistenable for the long term.

This to me sounds like an acoustically related issue and a listening space being "saturated" at higher SPL’s (and room modes excited at low frequencies), and it points to the need to properly accommodate a setup capable of higher SPL’s + prodigious LF-output within a given acoustical context. Large direct radiating speakers of low efficiency and more wide and uneven dispersion (if such is the case here) in my experience are typically more challenging in this regard compared to a higher eff. segment of speakers.

The question I asked myself, is do we really want this type of presentation in our home audio systems?

If you’re referring to your specific experience then it sounds like a flawed outset that isn’t representative of what a larger system is truly capable of in a home environment. There’s also taste and what one is habitually exposed to. What I have myself (though in a more moderately sized listening space) is definitely the type of presentation I’m after, and that setup could fill cinema auditoriums with sound effortlessly.

... I also thought that this type of speaker is akin to the large box dynamic speakers of yesteryear. For example, a set of large horns from Altec Lansing or similar was reminiscent of this sound. Makes me believe that if one has a big room, a similar sound can be obtained from most any large speaker system and at a fraction of the price.

Absolutely - or in varying ways at least. That is, price isn't as much a factor here than overall implementation and the segment, principle and configuration of the speakers used. 

300k and 800k got me. Nothing a $5-10k speaker couldnt do for vs something costing that much more.

Tower speakers > Bookshelf any day

Fitting the speakers to the size of your room is a thing. Acoustical treatments can help adjust, but usually the best bet is to get speakers that operate within the sound pressure levels you enjoy without overloading the room. I chose Sonus Faber Amati Traditional… not the line below or above for that reason. 

Most folks who would contemplate buying this system, will have the requisite space to put it…would be my guess. However, I think the sound they are going to get will be highly dependent on how well the room will be treated. Without treatment, almost all home living spaces will exhibit a nasty room resonance.
My point though with regards to very large speakers like these is that even with a large enough room, and room treatments, I think the overall sound will be unlike what hears in a ‘live’ setting, due to the seeming inability of speakers like these to sound intimate enough, when called for. Personally, I cannot see paying anything like the ask for a speaker like this. They truly reminded me of the first time I listened to Altec VOTT’s and when I subsequently heard Quad ‘57’s years later. IMO, two different types of performance…and I much preferred the Quads.