Can we contribute

@jpwarren58 ​​​​​@stereo5  

“Dulcet” reminds me of the Harry Pearson vocabulary so prominent in the original publications oh TAS when this hobby’s publications were in their infancy and not so much subject to advertising revenue.  I believe more honest while definitely opinionated as @stereo5 points out.  Good choice.  May I offer ichorous - Classical Mythology -  adjective - as in liquid - like the ethereal fluid flowing in the veins of the gods. You have both brought me back to the old days. 

Flacid. “The amplifier’s sound was flacid. Even at high volumes, the sound barely ruffled the sheets.”

@audition__audio  , "hammered dog $hit?"

As in, ". . . sounds like hammered dog $hit."

@audition__audio   Amen, sir. Having to guess as to what the reviewer may or may be trying to say is tiresome at best. A healthy dose of honest reviews sure would be nice...

@immatthewj , lol.

Some of these are great. If only the mags would adopt a few of these.