Anyone have experience with using de-esser for sibilance in home audio system?

I have tinnitus but I'm not specially bothered with sibilance even so it is present in some songs. I have no experience with de-essers but I don't see why I would limit myself to adjusting only one frequency. Instead I use the Loki max eq. Not often but it comes in handy with poorly sounding recordings. If that does not help, it surely would be your ears and just like tinnitus, the best way to deal with it is to learn to accept it, relax and enjoy whatever sounds you can still hear. Good luck to you.

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Assuming you DO hear it through headphones, then EQ is the right answer instead of a de-esser, compressor.

If you don't it's the room being too bright and needing absorption and diffusion.

It is generally around 7-8k. I’ve found that speaker height and toe in can make a difference. My speakers have level control of mids and highs, and using a calibrated mic and RTA to voice them differently helps a lot. I can reduce that 7-8k range and almost eliminate the sibilance. 
A high quality studio de-esser is something I’ve considered as a last resort. I wish more mixers used them effectively. Compression accentuates natural sibilance and some singers have sibilant voices. It can also be accentuated by mastering compression. 

Definitively get Schitt Loki and check it out ... cheap and quiet