Has anyone sold over $35k worth of equipment over the net? How do you protect yourself?

I’ve used escrow.com to good effect. The fees are relatively low, and transparently declared here. For larger amounts, it's convenient for the buyer to be able to wire the money to them, and they will then wire it on to the seller after the escrow is released.

The buyer assumes huge risk for something that expensive. I would do it in person only with the bank process described above about the car, if I was the buyer. At 35,000, traveling for pickup would be a pittance %wise. And I would want to check out the merch. I know you are asking as seller, but even as seller I would want it to be in person. At that price level there is too much risk for me otherwise, especially considering shipping. Otherwise, middleman like TMR is the way to go, bite the bullet for peace of mind.

I recently sold two items with TMR on consignment. I think they take 35% with consignment or you may choose to sell to them outright (for less money). They show the items on several different sites including their own site. It took a few months but well worth it (for me) to avoid the anxiety of selling to an individual. It was a pleasant experience. 

It’s that gut feeling you get after a phone conversation - something I recommend when dealing with high-value items. I once had a $35K transaction, local pickup, cash payment, and we’ve been “audio friends” ever since.

I would never pay with wire transfer. I have sold some pretty expensive speakers. The guy came to my house and paid in cash. It's the best way for both parties. He gets to hear the product and the deal is DONE that day. It does shrink your potential buyer pool. I have sold electronics through the mail. No problems.