About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Pat, your story resonates so strongly with all of us not only because of your courage and grace dealing with it, but also because this exact thing could happen to any of us, at any moment. It really underscores the importance of focusing on the IMPORTANT things in our lives: family, friends, faith, fun - and to eschew pettiness, laziness, greed and fear.

As always, our thoughts are with you and your loved ones (of which there are MANY)!

Pat

I don't think I've ever posted though we have talked often. I think its because I really find it hard to find the right words to describe what it is I think about you and your wife. Chatting last night I was astounded more than ever with your amazing inner strength and peace. Hope you are listening to the new lps today. Take care and hope to talk soon

Gary

A couple of stories that most likely will have little or no meaning to anyone but me but so be it.
As best as I can remember them…….
I had traveled alone to a nearby town to attend a concert that none of my friends were interested in. I arrived a little early so I decided to go to a bar that was fairly close to the venue and knock a few back. As I entered I noticed a woman sitting at the bar and I was struck by her beauty. It was a little hard to see as the years had disguised it some but it was there if you took the time to look. She was sitting with what I took to be her husband and some friends. I settled in and had a few drinks when I noticed her get up and walk down the bar to visit with some people at the other end. When she walked back I happened to glance up and see her chin quivering a little and a tear was rolling down her face. She quietly sat down and her somewhat oafish husband failed to notice. An elderly gentleman sitting close by did and said hey what’s wrong? She looked up her voice quavering and said its just that I heard that Paul’s cancer wasn’t responding any more to the treatments and I just.. .I mean that…. At that point the old man interrupted and said; WHAT, that’s nothing to cry about, nothing at all. I could see she was a little taken back by his statement and so was I for that matter. He said in a tender tone; I would go this minute if I could. Her husband spoke up at that point, barked a laugh, and said no way; you would fight for every second just like the rest of us. The elderly man responded no… no I wouldn’t. At that the husband responded in a loud tone “Bullshit you know you would fight to the bitter end for a few more days of life just like we all would. The old man was quiet for a second then slammed his glass on the bar, stood up, and with eyes of steel and a voice to match, he locked his gaze on the husband and he said no I wouldn’t. You see all my friends have passed, I am the last, I am alone, I miss them, and I want to be with them again. They are waiting for me and I can’t wait to join them. In that moment you could see the measure of the man that he once had been and could still be. The husbands retort sputtered on his lips and he turned away. As I glanced at the wife I could see her smile a little as understanding dawned on her. The elderly gentleman looked back and with a nod he turned away. As he shuffled out the door I noticed a tear running down his face but a smile was on his lips too.

I was watching a documentary on elephants. It showed this herd that was enjoying life in a lush reserve.
Inexplicably the whole herd left the reserve and began a long an arduous journey across a desolate an arid land. The scientists that were studying them were perplexed at why they would do such a thing but their interest was peaked and they continued to film and follow them. After a number of days you could see they were coming up to an old, and long since dry, watering hole. In the distance you could see this little white speck. As the herd got closer one female elephant walked ahead as the rest of the herd held back and followed at a distance. As she got closer to the white speck you could see that it was a tiny elephant skull. The female elephant slowly walked to it and you could she was crying as a tear rolled down her face. She reverently and gently touched every part of that tiny skull with her trunk. It was her son, you see, that had passed away a few years back. She had come to say goodbye to him. All the other elephants that made this long and trying journey silently stood by her as she grieved. With a final toss she flung the skull away and the herd turned around and headed back home to the preserve. The next year they show her with a new baby boy romping with the herd.
The circle continues...

I am not sure why I posted these stories but I think of them often and they never fail to move me.

Still lighting the candles for Lugnut and JD.

I had a couple opportunities to talk to Lugnut today. As always, he has the ability to bring a smile to my face. The first chance, he was so tired he really could not talk, but later this evening we spent some time catching up, and had a great time.

Those of you given to prayer, please remember to mention Pat and his needs, and Barb.

I was thinking even before I read the post by Bin that if I had the choice, I would rather die before my friends. It's hard to be left behind, as anyone who has buried a loved one will attest.

Pat, I respect the way you are leading the rest of us into unknown territory. You know I love you, and continue to remember you in my prayers.

I wish there were words to offer that meant something. I'll talk to you soon!

Holy shit Bin, that had almost too much meaning for me. I hope you continue to post on all kinds of topics. Thank you for pointing out how important love is to those left alone in the end.

I think we need to remember where Barb is on this. When I hugged Pat good by at RMAF as we were all parting for the airport I caught a glimpse of Barbs face. She read me and I read her and both of us had to turn away.

Pat has an angel looking over him but I fear this angel will have the biggest broken heart on earth when Pat passes before her. Perhaps her pain will be worse except for the knowledge of how much her husband loves and worships her.

I really wish I could do something worthwhile.