Howard's a great guest. Told him to make himself at home and he is. Old Lugnut has been so casual all his life that he'd expect a visiting nun to put her feet up on the coffee table and go dig around in the refrigerator for some munchies. Hey, and he even tolerated listening to the transistors that, unfortunately, are still in my system. The turntable is safe since he'd have to pry it out of Barb's hands and she has two while Howard has only one. Besides, he most likely aspires to a more audiophile appoved device. The LP12 is noisy, lots of pops and clicks, no imaging and a lack of detail that rivals my early 60's VW Bug am radio. Every time you walk across the concrete floor to flip a record you have to readjust the suspension. Funny though that he wasn't begging to listen to the CDP. He is polite.
Life is interesting. Some of you guys have noticed how I look at my condition in a somewhat detatched way. I find the process interesting but I'm getting to the point where "detached" may no longer be possible. There aren't any breaks from it anymore unless you count time I'm actually asleep. I'm acutely aware of what's going on every waking moment. The pain is controlable. Most of the discomfort is not. The discomfort is pretty constant and I don't think any of it can be outsmarted. I really want you guys to realize that how you look, act and speak can and will be used against you when you communicate with a health care professional. In many ways if one were to wallow in self pity and overstate their misery level you would get better care. Here's a great example. My Hospice nurse visited on Tuesday or Wednesday. Can't remember. She had a lot of questions and during the course of our conversation I mentioned that part of my problem must be fluid build up in the abdominal cavity. She looked at me and dismissed it out of hand because of the appearance of my stomach area. She then told me of another person, a woman, that she cares for suffering from the same malignancy. Apparently this woman truly looks pregnant. This kind of set me off. Not that I got utterly rude but I was close to firing her right then. I was wearing some jeans at the time this conversation too place and I explained to her that a few weeks ago I could button my jeans and have 4" or so of clearance. Hell, I could just grab them and pull them down to my ankles without unbuttoning them. Now, after no food and losing around another 12 pounds I was about 4" shy of being able to button them. Still, I look pretty trim if only I could stand up straight. Well, yesterday shortly after Howard arrived I got a phone call from the closest hospital telling me to come in asap for an ultrasound. Bottom line is they inserted a tube, hooked up a couple of vacuum bottles and removed 1 1/2 liters of fluid. This relatively simple proceedure has offered me a lot of relief. It should have been done sooner and should be done again when needed. Man, it's frustrating thinking that having a good attitude and being pleasant works against you.
I've also requested trying some other types of pain medication just because. Without eating or drinking the meds I now take are pretty hard on whatever stomach I have. If I throw up because I'm taking pain meds then we need to change them anyway. Might as well find out now what will and will not work. There are a lot of options and I don't think any one is better at managing pain than another. It's just a matter of which fits your condition better.
There's a possibility that the fluid removal may allow me to eat and drink a little better. I'll find that out today. I sure hope I can. This is no exaggeration. If I can't eat a little better I'm going to stand up one day soon and go down like a ton of bricks. I feel near to doing so several times a day as it is. That would be the point where I'd need someone with me all of the time. I get a little bit of comfort being able to motivate on my own and want to postpone needing full time assistance as long as I can.
I can pretty much promise that I'll attend the concert tonight. I'm looking forward to it and would be very happy if the three of us did this together. Howard's such a sweet guy that I think he'd remember it for the rest of his life.
Albert called last night. Like so many people that care about me he is really frustated that something can't be done. Honestly I think the guy would trade all his gear for a Wave radio and my returned health if he could. Albert, and anyone else that feels so terribly helpless, remember that just talking to you makes me feel so much better even if it's for a short while. (Note to Nate: you need to postpone your next upgrade and buy a phone that sounds close to tolerable) LOL.
Sorry if reading this stuff is depressing. It's about all my life consists of so I don't have much else to report. I am okay in spite of how I sound and I'm not depressed.
Those Star Sound/Systrum racks are as good as you've read Nate. From what I've heard with my own ears they are the end of the road.
Life is interesting. Some of you guys have noticed how I look at my condition in a somewhat detatched way. I find the process interesting but I'm getting to the point where "detached" may no longer be possible. There aren't any breaks from it anymore unless you count time I'm actually asleep. I'm acutely aware of what's going on every waking moment. The pain is controlable. Most of the discomfort is not. The discomfort is pretty constant and I don't think any of it can be outsmarted. I really want you guys to realize that how you look, act and speak can and will be used against you when you communicate with a health care professional. In many ways if one were to wallow in self pity and overstate their misery level you would get better care. Here's a great example. My Hospice nurse visited on Tuesday or Wednesday. Can't remember. She had a lot of questions and during the course of our conversation I mentioned that part of my problem must be fluid build up in the abdominal cavity. She looked at me and dismissed it out of hand because of the appearance of my stomach area. She then told me of another person, a woman, that she cares for suffering from the same malignancy. Apparently this woman truly looks pregnant. This kind of set me off. Not that I got utterly rude but I was close to firing her right then. I was wearing some jeans at the time this conversation too place and I explained to her that a few weeks ago I could button my jeans and have 4" or so of clearance. Hell, I could just grab them and pull them down to my ankles without unbuttoning them. Now, after no food and losing around another 12 pounds I was about 4" shy of being able to button them. Still, I look pretty trim if only I could stand up straight. Well, yesterday shortly after Howard arrived I got a phone call from the closest hospital telling me to come in asap for an ultrasound. Bottom line is they inserted a tube, hooked up a couple of vacuum bottles and removed 1 1/2 liters of fluid. This relatively simple proceedure has offered me a lot of relief. It should have been done sooner and should be done again when needed. Man, it's frustrating thinking that having a good attitude and being pleasant works against you.
I've also requested trying some other types of pain medication just because. Without eating or drinking the meds I now take are pretty hard on whatever stomach I have. If I throw up because I'm taking pain meds then we need to change them anyway. Might as well find out now what will and will not work. There are a lot of options and I don't think any one is better at managing pain than another. It's just a matter of which fits your condition better.
There's a possibility that the fluid removal may allow me to eat and drink a little better. I'll find that out today. I sure hope I can. This is no exaggeration. If I can't eat a little better I'm going to stand up one day soon and go down like a ton of bricks. I feel near to doing so several times a day as it is. That would be the point where I'd need someone with me all of the time. I get a little bit of comfort being able to motivate on my own and want to postpone needing full time assistance as long as I can.
I can pretty much promise that I'll attend the concert tonight. I'm looking forward to it and would be very happy if the three of us did this together. Howard's such a sweet guy that I think he'd remember it for the rest of his life.
Albert called last night. Like so many people that care about me he is really frustated that something can't be done. Honestly I think the guy would trade all his gear for a Wave radio and my returned health if he could. Albert, and anyone else that feels so terribly helpless, remember that just talking to you makes me feel so much better even if it's for a short while. (Note to Nate: you need to postpone your next upgrade and buy a phone that sounds close to tolerable) LOL.
Sorry if reading this stuff is depressing. It's about all my life consists of so I don't have much else to report. I am okay in spite of how I sound and I'm not depressed.
Those Star Sound/Systrum racks are as good as you've read Nate. From what I've heard with my own ears they are the end of the road.