I lived with the 10.5i for a while and my first suggestion would be to not be afraid to mess around with your setup. If Fremer's DVD helps you feel better with this it's money well spent. Only you can put in the time and experiment to see what works best.
I eventually abandoned the antiskate mechanism entirely and even removed it. I would say some of your problems are a result of too much antiskate. I also think it's important to measure your tracking force at record level and if you don't have a scale that can do that raise the back of the arm so that the arm is level when you're on the scale, otherwise you'll be under tracking when you level your arm at record level. So I would say track at 2.2 with little or no antiskate.
Also, don't be afraid to try some damping fluid. Mess around until you find what works.
I eventually abandoned the antiskate mechanism entirely and even removed it. I would say some of your problems are a result of too much antiskate. I also think it's important to measure your tracking force at record level and if you don't have a scale that can do that raise the back of the arm so that the arm is level when you're on the scale, otherwise you'll be under tracking when you level your arm at record level. So I would say track at 2.2 with little or no antiskate.
Also, don't be afraid to try some damping fluid. Mess around until you find what works.