You might be an audiophile if...

With apologies to Mr. Jeff Foxworthy, thought it would be fun to come up with (clean) examples of the wretched excesses that us poor audiophiles are subject to. I'll start it off. Extra points for originality and wit.

You might be an audiophile if your stereo costs more than your car. Or your house.

You might be an audiophile if - you've ever had to choose between a girlfriend and a new pair of speakers.
Your maid has passed a 50 question test on the care and handling of high end audio gear (all essay questions)!
... the names of your children are
Conrad Johnson_______, Cary ______, Callisto_______, Avalon_______,Aragon(not Aragorn)______, and Merlin Porter!
Your Maggies look like coffee tables on end to your house guests. If you find any of this sh-t funny or TRUE!
You tell your friends (for the 20th time) that you're 'done', and they just roll their eyes. You want to defend your sanity but don't since they'll never understand anyway.
the UPS and FedEx guys know not to stop when they see the wife's car in the driveway.