WAF --

Me: Honey, come listen to the new speakers.
Her: I don’t hear the speakers.
Me: What do you mean you don’t hear the speakers?
Her: (pointing to the new speakers) I thought these are your new speakers.
Me: Why, yes they are, but I don’t understand what you mean. You can’t hear the speakers?
Her: No. Are you sure they are playing because (pointing to acoustical panels on the front wall) I hear THOSE speakers.
Me: Oh, no, those are acoustical absorption panels, not speakers. You can’t possibly be hearing them.
Her: Acoustical what?
Me: Let me explain: (Pointing to the new speakers) Honey, what you are hearing are coming from THESE speakers.
Me: (Proudly stating) Due to proper speaker placement, room treatments, etc. the resulting soundstage makes the music seem to be coming from behind the speakers. Like it’s coming from the acoustical panels.
Her: What’s a soundstage? Is that another expensive big and heavy thingy you just bought?
Me: (Sweating) No dear, "soundstage" is just a term to describe an aspect of music reproduction.
Me: It’s what led you to believe the absorbtion panels were speakers.
Her: You mean THOSE expensive speakers sitting in the middle of the room (her exaggeration) are making it sound like music is coming from the wall?
Me: (Broadly and proudly smiling, and so sure I justified the expense) Exactly! Yes dear! You do understand afterall!
Her: Well maybe. But what I don’t understand is why you bought speakers expensive enough to make the music come from the wall behind?
Her: If you want the sound to come from the wall then why don’t you just sell THOSE speakers and buy cheaper ones to hang on the wall and give me back a third of the family room?
Me: (Hand to my head casually wiping a bead of sweat) But honey, you don’t understand. You see the on axis dispersion doesn’t just make sound seem like it is, ...
Her: (Stopping me mid sentence) Oh, by the way, just how much DID you pay for THESE speakers???
Her: And what about all these big electronic thingys you call monobutts?
Me: They’re called Monoblocks honey. They are non stereo amplifiers. That’s why there are two of them.
Me: You see, together they produce the stereo effect.
Her: (pointing to the Hegel) Well then why is there only one of those white amp thingys?
Me: (Thinking I distracted her off of what I paid for THESE speakers) That, honey, is an integrated amplifier/preamplifier which operates in stereo. That is why only one of them is needed.
Her: So is that white thingy (the Hegel) less expensive than your mono whatevers?
Me: (Feeling somewhat trapped) Yes it is.
Her: So you paid for more expensive mono thingys, two of them, instead of going with the less expensive white thingy?
Me: (Really desperate now and wondering if I am to be banished to the sofa in the basement or the one in the garage) But Honey have I told you how much I love you today?
Her: No, actually you didn’t. You can tell me just how much you love me after you tell me how much you paid for THESE speakers.
Her: And your mono things!
Her: And your absorbing panel thingys!
Me: But Honey I love you so MUCH!!

to be continued, ... (next I will have to try to explain the four black boxes (Subwoofers) scattered about the room!)

Be safe everyone!
At this point, I am trying to do the same!