Mistakes I’ve made

tnic73:  You need to stay away from that cousin!  

The only things I have loaned out and not gotten back were some CD’s.  I learned not to lend any more out and most people don’t ask. 

I also try to deal with reputable people that do what they say and are honest.  Life is too short to deal with the other kinds.

@zavato 
You seem like a generous caring person.  However, your lending practices seem unwise.  When you lend, relationships can easily suffer when you try to get your stuff back.  Those folks who abused/dumped your lent stuff may now have guilt in their relationship with you and you may have resentment towards them.  Instead of helping them, you may be enabling their bad behavior especially the non caring irresponsible people.

If you must lend, make it very clear up front on when you expect to get it returned, let them know that you don’t like lending because it can damage relationships, then get them to agree to “can I trust you to return it on time?” maybe sealed with a handshake while looking them eye to eye.  Periodically tactfully reminding them of the due date may also be a good idea like 2 weeks before it’s due.  Also, you can say “did you used it yet? I hope so because I was really trying to help you out” - increased gratitude can farther increase their motivation to return your stuff.

Well, one relative I loaned stuff to is dead, and another relative I loaned to I refuse to have anything to do with anymore for other reasons

That’s a start 

I clicked a link to ASR thread once, insane.

Imho, it sounds like your friends confused loaned with gifted.  Since this has happened on multiple occasions with different people, perhaps you should make your intentions more clear.