Good old days

@frogman 

I believe that formal analysis can detract from musical enjoyment. I believe one intuitively analyzes by extended listening.
I probably misled by using the term “casual listening”. A better term is relaxed listening. Certainly being actively involved in the music is paramount. That is achieved best when I’m relaxed. 
‘Although I have a Masters in piano from Juilliard and a PhD in music theory and history from NYU, I got my musical inspiration and love of classical music as a child listening to radio stations in New York. I always endeavor to recover that feeling. 
  Expressing myself through this forum has been helpful to me in diagnosing the pitfalls of sound addiction.  I also hope it relates to others who have the same experience.
  

I don’t mean to burst your bubble. But before you hang up your HI-FI boots you might want to consider a different type of speaker. A simple British 2 way BBC design might be the ticket. Spendor, Harbeth, Graham are some that just might get you off the Merry-Go-Round that you have been on all these years!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqFIaiPT_kY

I think you’re on the right track.  
I pity the fool who sacrifices the beauty, wonder, and splendor of music to obsess over Audio Nervosa.  
If that is indeed the case, screw it.  
Life’s too short.  Music is too good.  
Good sound is good and all, but it’s not better than music.

rvpiano, I can relate. When you read reviews, a good sound system is supposed to have a wide soundstage, depth, layering, etc. So when we listen to our own systems we tend to listen for those things, cause we get programmed to do so. However, we don't care about those things with car stereos, portable players, etc. I often admire how good my Alexa speaker sounds. I don' worry about how it sounds because I don't expect much. Not the case when you spend thousands on a sound system.

First, I want to applaud you for posting about this issue. It's a vulnerable topic to post about, and given some of the replies that emerge on this forum, you take risks in order to hear from others. Bravo.

As you know, given your education, most of the music enjoyed in the world and, over time, has been experienced in ways that would not be defined as "serious listening." One thinks of the salons of Europe, table music, liturgical music, tribal music, party music, driving music, cooking music, romantic music. Yes, there are occasions when attention is paid in analytical or serious or immersive ways, but those are not the rule, those are exceptions.

For me, your question branches in two directions:

1. Can you divorce your own attitude about music from its monogamous commitment to "serious" listening? It sounds like you need a way to "flip a switch" — or as we used to say, "chill out," when desired.

2. What might you add or change in your system to help with #1? I think the suggestion of different speakers might be the way to go.

I recently listened to some Stenheim speakers. They were quite amazing, and did some things my speakers (1/10th the cost) couldn't do. But more than anything else, this system was different. It was "fine dining" as opposed to a delicious "home cooked meal." I like the latter, better — comfort food and comfortable circumstances — all done with care, excellently. 

Maybe that's what you really want to move to — aural comfort food, done well.