Good old days

I think you’re on the right track.  
I pity the fool who sacrifices the beauty, wonder, and splendor of music to obsess over Audio Nervosa.  
If that is indeed the case, screw it.  
Life’s too short.  Music is too good.  
Good sound is good and all, but it’s not better than music.

rvpiano, I can relate. When you read reviews, a good sound system is supposed to have a wide soundstage, depth, layering, etc. So when we listen to our own systems we tend to listen for those things, cause we get programmed to do so. However, we don't care about those things with car stereos, portable players, etc. I often admire how good my Alexa speaker sounds. I don' worry about how it sounds because I don't expect much. Not the case when you spend thousands on a sound system.

First, I want to applaud you for posting about this issue. It's a vulnerable topic to post about, and given some of the replies that emerge on this forum, you take risks in order to hear from others. Bravo.

As you know, given your education, most of the music enjoyed in the world and, over time, has been experienced in ways that would not be defined as "serious listening." One thinks of the salons of Europe, table music, liturgical music, tribal music, party music, driving music, cooking music, romantic music. Yes, there are occasions when attention is paid in analytical or serious or immersive ways, but those are not the rule, those are exceptions.

For me, your question branches in two directions:

1. Can you divorce your own attitude about music from its monogamous commitment to "serious" listening? It sounds like you need a way to "flip a switch" — or as we used to say, "chill out," when desired.

2. What might you add or change in your system to help with #1? I think the suggestion of different speakers might be the way to go.

I recently listened to some Stenheim speakers. They were quite amazing, and did some things my speakers (1/10th the cost) couldn't do. But more than anything else, this system was different. It was "fine dining" as opposed to a delicious "home cooked meal." I like the latter, better — comfort food and comfortable circumstances — all done with care, excellently. 

Maybe that's what you really want to move to — aural comfort food, done well.

yogiboy and Hilde45,

Listening to a speaker that doesn’t do “magic tricks” with soundstaging might well be the way to go. Getting my mind off of the artifacts of sound can only be a good thing in listening to MUSIC.

@frogman

I can see how involving myself in musical endeavors might get me more involved in the music.