Getting into the music

Been in this hobby for about 50 years.  IME if you put a well balanced audio system together and use quality sources both digital and analogue, you can enjoy the music. The key is balance.  A mid priced system that has components of similar cost and ability will sound better than a system that has one very expensive component which will reveal the flaws of the cheaper components.  

I feel your pain. Since retiring I have chased "the sound" and finally it hit me. I was wasting too much time in the critical listening arena and not enjoying the music. Then one day, on a whim, I tried out an old pair of Klipsch Chorus ll speakers. I hooked them up to my Luxman L-509Z and played the digital file Hotel California from the Eagles’ When Hell Freezes Over album through my Aurender A20. When Don Henley hit the bass drum and I thought he was in the room with me I realized I was done. No more chasing the ultimate sound. I spent untold hours listening to amps, preamps, speakers, DACs, cables, etc. I found my happy place. I had half a million dollars of gear running through my house over the past two-three years, driving my wife nuts. Only thing left is to do some room tweaks and I am done. Or am I? The plot is always moist...

All I do now is swap out the Klipsch with an amazing sounding set of Harbeth SHL5s. The wife helps with that.

As I age, I always remember I wanted to be a musician and nothing blocks me from appreciate a great music even if it does not sound very well like garage rock.

I now feel necessity to purchase instruments and electronics to practice, create and mix. So moving to more fair and honest industry of the pro-audio

This side of audiophilia can border on OCD tendencies. And that obviously is not a good thing. Good luck to you, music is still the most important thing. The easiest way to get everything to sound better to your ears regardless of the quality of recording is equalizing. I use a Puffin and a Loki Max. That may help in returning to your love of music.

Thank you all for your very compassionate responses.
The problem is I’ve gotten to the point where I enjoy listening to my system so much it’s hard to turn back. I have these “manic” episodes when I relish the sound alone. Like right now I’m appreciating my newish analog setup for the first time and I’m going through a myriad of records comparing their SQ to before I had the new setup. This is pleasurable it itself.  And I do get into the music somewhat.
Conversely there are times I realize I’m not really enjoying the music for itself and the listening for sound becomes a negative and shallow pursuit.
I’m not sure if I’m too far gone.

Anyway thanks so much for your help!