I’m the same age as Jay and yeah it’s lonely in this range (and younger) in the USA. I’m good friends with the 3 I know around my own age in a LARGE metropolitan area. I’ve encountered a few more here and there (gear buy / sell) -they’re certainly out there but it’s rare. Part of it is the USA’s culture shift - a few other regions / cultures have more of an audiophile tilt.
Some of the older dudes I get along with great, and others - well, there’s a reason we get associated to some bad tropes & stereotypes. The women have always been rare as hen’s teeth. There are a few here and there, but in general they’re wired differently and have priorities that don’t lead them down this particular path. And that’s OK - don’t force what’s not there. Anyways if I hooked up with an audiophile gal I’d probably be broke on the streets in a month; I’m bad enough as is.