@sns
Does a single reference system exist? Well no, but there are many that are really close.
Some folks and companies are trying to reproduce the real thing and some are trying to make really great sounding audio systems. Very different goals.
I personally, and a few high end audio companies are attempting to reproduce real music. I / they work to educate ourselves about what the real thing sounds like. That takes time and effort. But it is something that you can close in on. Not some unobtainable thing. Listening to you, we would never try to do anything... we are so flawed and biased at every level. Among my training and professional positions has been a scientist and engineer. I have learned how to get better and better at something. I am fascinated by complex questions like this. People learn to read chest X-rays and MRAs, they look like fuzz to the novice and instantly understandable to a the trained eye.
We learn by exposure to the real thing and many different systems that are trying to achieve the real thing. I can tell you my system and the components produced by companies attempting to achieve the real thing are leagues beyond where they were decades ago. That is the way progress.
I'm just not the type that throws up my hands and says, it's too hard... we are all biased, there is no reference. This is why I got season tickets to the symphony for over a decade, and sampled as many concerts and listened to individual instruments when I could. To build an internal reference.