About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

A few years ago my best friend was diagnosed with Cancer.
I was with him during most all his chemo treatments and spent what was to be his last night with us at the hospital at his side. Sometime during the night I awoke and he was sitting patiently waiting for me to wake up he mumbled something I couldnt hear, when I got closer he was saying to me "who thought it would come to this"?
I didn't know what to say.
The next day he passed in my arms.
Shortly after my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
During her hospital stay one day near the end I decided to smuggle up some beer and get all her relatives and loved ones around, we had a grand old time. She said something about how she would have to start working hard if she wanted to get out of there.
I didnt know what to say.
The next night was unusually uneventful and I left in the morning to go home for a bit. She passed away minutes after I left. I know she held on long enough so I wasnt there when it happened. Thats mom's always looking out for you.

Patrick you have made me realize that maybe it wasn't important what I said but simply that they knew I loved them.
I still dont know what to say.
But I will say that you are loved and thats the greatest gift of all.
One small thing I can do is to light a candle every time I listen to music for my friends Patrick and JD to let you know you are loved.
After all in the end all we have is each other.

bin

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Bin,
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Thanks....that was wonderful.
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Rgds,
Larry
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Pat;

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Barb.
Bin's post was so beautiful; it reminded me of something I think of often.

My Dad was killed in the military in 1964. I was 7 years old. I still remember his love like it was yesterday.

I lost my Mom 2 years ago. I remember her looking into my eyes as she lay dying, her tears streaking her cheeks. Unable to speak, I still know her tears were not for herself, but for me. I will always have her love.

I believe so firmly in an afterlife because, having known love in such depth, I refuse to believe it can ever be extinguished.

Pat thank you for sharing so openly. Having followed this thread daily since it's inception, it unravels as a testament to love and empathy. You have made us smile, cry, and smile again. Thanks my friend- for reminding all of us that love is what truly matters.

Bin ... that was indeed beautiful. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

When my mom was dying, she urged my dad to re-marry. In fact, she named some women she thought would be good for my dad ... and 1 year after my mom died, my dad married the woman who was #1 on my mom's list. My sister felt that my dad had soiled mom's memory. I felt 180 degrees differently. I thought that the fact that my dad sought re-marriage soon was, in fact, a testament to my parents' marriage: that it had been so wonderful, my dad soon wanted to have that feeling again. I know my mom smiled from heaven when my dad re-married. She didn't want him to be lonely in some sort of misguided idea of "honoring" their marriage by being alone and miserable.

Pat, when you write "I hope some really nice, deserving guy wins [Barb's] heart someday," it is clear that you share my mom's hope that her spouse find the way to be happy after you are gone. I believed, when my mom so encouraged my dad, that it took one hell of a strong and wonderful person to express such a sentiment ... and I believe that now when you express much the same on Barb's behalf.

Tonight I called and spoke with Pat. I asked if he needed any more Audio Intelligent cleaning formulas. He replied: "I have enough to last me for the rest of my life." I didn't know what to say. Then I laughed, and said: "You asshole!"

Pat, there is no need to apologize for not being able to make the trip to attend the Stereo Times Award Party. I am sorry you're not physically up to making the trip. Lis will come with me, and we'll try to video tape at least that part of the awards party when I go up and receive the award for Audio Intelligent. We'll send that video to you, so you can be there in spirit and share the moment with us.

You write that asking us to support Barb after you're gone is difficult for you. For me, the difficult part of that is hearing you plan for when you are gone ... because I, selfishly, do not want to contemplate a world where my dear friend is gone. But Pat, I swear to you, in front of these witnesses, that I will help Barb, and stay in touch with Barb, to the best of my ability, for as long as I shall live. You have my word on it.

Warmest regards,
Paul

That was a really cool post Bin. All of you guys have been so nice to me. Now, get this. What should be pretty lazy days because I get up without any plans almost always turn out to be very full. Man, I must have gotten five calls yesterday from afar just wishing me well and then the conversations turn to audio. Lot's of fun on the receiving end. It gets so full at times that I don't keep things straight. Here's a perfect example. Barb brought home a package and inside was an album "Traveling Willburys". I remember a call asking me if I had it but I don't remember the particulars so I figured I'd go to my email and send a thank you. Wrong. Ain't that organized I guess. So, whoever sent this, thanks and I'm sorry for not responding in a more apporpriate manner. Oh. And Paul, when I remarked I had a lifetime supply I really wasn't talking about my remaining life but rather on the quantity at hand. As soon as I said it I saw the humor. Glad you did too. I know you'll always make sure there is enough AIVS around this house. Every day has a healthy dose of humor around here even if it's by accident.

Hey guys, I should be getting the new cartridge today. I'll be twisting Steve's arm to come over and help my shakey hands install it. This will be fun. I fear I may have lost my anti-cables. After the club meeting at Steve's place the other night the lineup of guys wanting to give them a try was pretty long. I just said to pass them around but get them back to me. Har har. No matter at all. I smile every time I think about. People excited about a product that's almost free. What a hoot!

I go in for my second round of Taxol today and figure it will be anti-climactic. They're pretty slow the first time they give any new drug in anticipation of a negative reaction. Subsequent infusions go pretty quickly and this time I won't be given a huge dose of Benedryl. Man, that was a pretty intense high last week. Not bad at all. Kind of fun actually. It did take my day away though. I'm looking forward to getting back home today and resuming all the surprise activity that seems to occur.

We've been a four car family with two drivers. In quick succession one car got hit by someone that ran a stop sign and is totaled. I sold the Nova and then put the family sedan in the shop for a bunch of small items I've neglected. We're down to just my truck. I've been meaning to return a bunch of albums to SdCampbell and haven't done it. I'd like to get smaller boxes so those poor Postal employees don't get hurt but haven't been able to get to U-Haul to get some. Scott, I will get it done soon. Promise.

When we went to Steve's place on Monday for our audio club get together I finally got a chance to meet the sweet gal that helped him with my room remodel in late December. Seeing as how they are still seeing one another after hanging wall paper.....well, that's a good sign for being able to get along.