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About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.

Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.

Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.

I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.

Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.

As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.

Warmest regards to all,
Paul Frumkin
paul_frumkin
jphii
485 posts
 
Pat,

Glad to hear you remain in good spirits despite the setback. You give us all a lot to think about.

I just bought the Coltrane album off ebay for you. It should be here in a couple of days, and I'll get it out to you ASAP. It's new, SS, but I think I need to give it one listen before it goes out. The message seems to strong to ignore.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Barb.

Joe
bin
119 posts
 
A few years ago my best friend was diagnosed with Cancer.
I was with him during most all his chemo treatments and spent what was to be his last night with us at the hospital at his side. Sometime during the night I awoke and he was sitting patiently waiting for me to wake up he mumbled something I couldnt hear, when I got closer he was saying to me "who thought it would come to this"?
I didn't know what to say.
The next day he passed in my arms.
Shortly after my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
During her hospital stay one day near the end I decided to smuggle up some beer and get all her relatives and loved ones around, we had a grand old time. She said something about how she would have to start working hard if she wanted to get out of there.
I didnt know what to say.
The next night was unusually uneventful and I left in the morning to go home for a bit. She passed away minutes after I left. I know she held on long enough so I wasnt there when it happened. Thats mom's always looking out for you.

Patrick you have made me realize that maybe it wasn't important what I said but simply that they knew I loved them.
I still dont know what to say.
But I will say that you are loved and thats the greatest gift of all.
One small thing I can do is to light a candle every time I listen to music for my friends Patrick and JD to let you know you are loved.
After all in the end all we have is each other.

bin
cello
645 posts
 
.
Bin,
.
Thanks....that was wonderful.
.
Rgds,
Larry
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danlib1
819 posts
 
Pat;

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Barb.
Bin's post was so beautiful; it reminded me of something I think of often.

My Dad was killed in the military in 1964. I was 7 years old. I still remember his love like it was yesterday.

I lost my Mom 2 years ago. I remember her looking into my eyes as she lay dying, her tears streaking her cheeks. Unable to speak, I still know her tears were not for herself, but for me. I will always have her love.

I believe so firmly in an afterlife because, having known love in such depth, I refuse to believe it can ever be extinguished.

Pat thank you for sharing so openly. Having followed this thread daily since it's inception, it unravels as a testament to love and empathy. You have made us smile, cry, and smile again. Thanks my friend- for reminding all of us that love is what truly matters.
paul_frumkin OP
130 posts
 
Bin ... that was indeed beautiful. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

When my mom was dying, she urged my dad to re-marry. In fact, she named some women she thought would be good for my dad ... and 1 year after my mom died, my dad married the woman who was #1 on my mom's list. My sister felt that my dad had soiled mom's memory. I felt 180 degrees differently. I thought that the fact that my dad sought re-marriage soon was, in fact, a testament to my parents' marriage: that it had been so wonderful, my dad soon wanted to have that feeling again. I know my mom smiled from heaven when my dad re-married. She didn't want him to be lonely in some sort of misguided idea of "honoring" their marriage by being alone and miserable.

Pat, when you write "I hope some really nice, deserving guy wins [Barb's] heart someday," it is clear that you share my mom's hope that her spouse find the way to be happy after you are gone. I believed, when my mom so encouraged my dad, that it took one hell of a strong and wonderful person to express such a sentiment ... and I believe that now when you express much the same on Barb's behalf.

Tonight I called and spoke with Pat. I asked if he needed any more Audio Intelligent cleaning formulas. He replied: "I have enough to last me for the rest of my life." I didn't know what to say. Then I laughed, and said: "You asshole!"

Pat, there is no need to apologize for not being able to make the trip to attend the Stereo Times Award Party. I am sorry you're not physically up to making the trip. Lis will come with me, and we'll try to video tape at least that part of the awards party when I go up and receive the award for Audio Intelligent. We'll send that video to you, so you can be there in spirit and share the moment with us.

You write that asking us to support Barb after you're gone is difficult for you. For me, the difficult part of that is hearing you plan for when you are gone ... because I, selfishly, do not want to contemplate a world where my dear friend is gone. But Pat, I swear to you, in front of these witnesses, that I will help Barb, and stay in touch with Barb, to the best of my ability, for as long as I shall live. You have my word on it.

Warmest regards,
Paul
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