overwhelmed by record rituals

New records should be cleaned as well as used records. There is always a trace of release agent left in the grooves after pressing. If not removed before playing the heat of the stylus will make the residue permanent.
I have used VPI record cleaners for over 25 years. The 16, then the 16.5 and now the 17F.

I'd also suggest that you're using the stylus cleaner too frequently. If dust accumulates on the tip, just use a little dry brush to get it off.

If you over clean your stylus with fluid, in time, the fluid will travel up the cantilever and start to eat away at the suspension of your cartridge and then you'll need a new one.

I made the same mistake a few years back.

I clean my stylus with fluid maybe once or twice a month and only after I'm done listening for the night.

A used VPI 16.5 would be a great investment. I use the "One Step Forumla No. 6" cleaning fluid with mine and have very good results. My favorite fluid to date and I've tried three or four.

If you get an anti-stat gun, two or three pulls and releases of the trigger at various points over the record surface will suffice. I wouldn't point it at the cartridge.

Get a KL Audio machine makes it simple.

A Spin Clean is inexpensive and works…all my old LPs got the cleaning and I clean any new ones…once…they aren't getting dirty. An anti static carbon felt mat, anti static LP sleeves (Mobile Fidelity), and a good anti static carbon brush every time I play a side…if I still have a static issue I don't hear it. I use Last on the stylus with its little scrubbing thing once every few LPs, and all of this works swimmingly.

Ask three audiophiles about record cleaning and you'll get 17 different
responses. Here's my take:
The surface brushes push surface dust around, don't remove it and have the
potential to add a static charge despite claims to the contrary. I usually don't
bother with them, although I have several.
I would be careful applying any liquid to your stylus; you should buy a cheap
jeweler's loupe (Amazon) which should give you enough magnification to see
if there is any build-up on your stylus. Dry brushing should normally be
enough, or use the Doug Deacon Magic Eraser method (with caution).
Wet Record Cleaning-I don't think all machines clean equally, but do believe
an RCM is essential. The VPI is fine (mine, which started life as a 16, still
works). Much is in the method. You'll read about various fluids, applicators,
how long to 'dry', etc. if you do some digging. Basic good practices involve
keeping everything that touches the record clean, including the vacuum lips.
Dry does not necessarily mean clean- the objective is to get the fluid to
loosen the contaminants, and then have the vacuum remove the 'slurry' of
fluid in which the contaminants are suspended. Sometimes, with used
records, this may involve multiple cleanings. I use a pure water rinse to
remove the residue of the fluid/contaminants (and therefore, with a VPI, use a
second vacuum pillar/wand- not a huge investment).
I think the Zerostat gun is overkill- try to get to the root of the static problem
rather than charging the record to compensate for it- issues include
handling, carpeted floors and inner sleeves. After cleaning, each record goes
into a high quality aftermarket sleeve.
As at least one other poster mentioned, you could and should explore older
vinyl pressings- the "audiophile" reissues are not always the best
sounding copies, and often sound worse than a standard issue copy made
back in the day. But older records really force you to double down on
cleaning methods because I've found that records I believed were trashed
were in fact just badly contaminated, including by previous 'cleanings' where
the fluids dried and added noise.
I'm machine and fluid agnostic and use multiple machines and methods. I
don't think there is one approach to solve all the problems associated with
record cleaning or surface noise, but once you get hands on and experiment
for a while you will find that some records clean up easily and others require
more work and different methods. Good luck and welcome to LPs.