So time for an update.
in short I’ve gotten the sound right
First off my settings have always been set correctly from the beginning, so let’s take off the table.
Secondly, the brightness calmed down about 30% +/- with leaving the unit on form a few day, noticeably so.
Thirdly, I did the whole cable dance thing and that went a good way to helping get the right timber and tone, and I was able to eliminate the metallic sheen from songs I know to not have it.
Fourthly, this system has Thiel CS2.4 for speakers, which if you know are VERY reveling to upstream equipment. Rewarding if done right, brutal if not. The speakers were set up, when I put the BSN, for my analog system which had toe in about 10 degrees which provided great sound - for the TT set up. My system is in a relatively small room, with room treatment, but small nonetheless, thus I had settled for some toe in. However, it dawned on me that Thiel’s advise is actually little to no toe in, so I rearranged the speaker toe to zero and bam, sound came together - on certain songs.
What I’ve noticed is that with certain music the sound is great, but like any other media the recording dictates the quality the most and some 80’s and 90’s digital music is just VERY bad, and this system just reveals it bare.