You know you're an audiophile if--

when you are several steps into 'quitting the spending'

and that making a new power cord or new tubes for a few hundred is not really a purchase worth worrying about

Hearing from your ex-girlfriend, "there is too much stereo stuff in this room--I really like those little Bose speakers" was a tipping point in your last relationship

and

Telling the current girlfriend "you can dance in between the speakers all you want, but please put down the beer cuz you are waving all over the amps", which she turned into a tipping point

Life is complicated sometimes.

You find yourself at a dinner party explaining why some people prefer the sound of records to CDs.

Your partner says they are feeling 'horny', and you immediately look to see if they are touching your beloved speakers.

Your equipment is "analogue" rather than "analog".

.... To truly be an absolute undeniable audiophile......... YOU MUST MAINTAIN ABSOLUTE DENIAL OF ANY SUCH CONDITION! Just say the word Audiophile out loud , it is monotone and lacking emotion and sounds like phonic enunciation ..Now say Denial( too yourself), it has lower octave attack and swings too airy highs that cascade down to warm musical midrange with soft natural decay.....No , their is no such thing as an audiophile. Cheers

You know that BYBEE BULLETS don't go in a gun!!

...you have a pair of interconnects or phono cartridge that cost more than your car.

You audition an amplifier that your really love and it sounds better than all the others but you decide against it because it is not expensive enough. You end up buying the next best sounding one that costs a lot more.

you believe that accuracy is the pinnacle of sonic excellence and enjoy suffering the sound of a pooor quality recording because you believe it is indicative of a high quality audio system.

if you admit to being an audiophile you need therapy--audiophilia pathologica.