OP,
I completely agree that this is a tremendously important topic in a forum with a mixture of experience levels.
I certainly started looking for better sound to hear the music better and by and large the two improved together. Somewhere in the 1990’s after a good twenty years of the pursuit I noticed there was a line that when crossed resulted in detailed sterile sound… not musically fulfilling.
I am highly analytical. So when pursuing high end audio I would go into analytical mode and try and isolate variables that are obvious… detail, slam, imaging. I drilled down to, micro-details, and all sorts of nuances. These all led me (can lead you) away from musicality. You can have them all, but it is really easy to focus the way I did. Some folks get it from the start… typically folks that follow tubes from the beginning.
Not to be too repetitive. I went out to find out what real music sounded like… ten years season tickets to the symphony, acoustic jazz concerts, and sit with every piano played and soloist I could. The result was to change my emphasis to rhythm / pace and authentic presentation of details (not exaggerated / highlighted). Then climbed up better sound quality with this as top priority. This led me to an incredibly musical, relaxing system to listen to, that just gets out of the way. The system is invisible. It has all the details, but in perspective, it has wonderful imaging (without resorting to elevated treble to accomplish this), and dynamics… but not artificial. When I go from my system to the symphony, I get the same experience. Same with a rock concert… only without the horrible distortion and deafening volume.
It took me a long time to recognize the difference from putting together an analytical sounding system and a musical one. A well worth distinction to understand as soon as possible in pursuing the high end. I know lots of folks with very expensive systems that still haven’t figured it out. If you listen for 45 minutes to your system and can get up and do something else without tremendous effort you may be one of those.