Anyone have experience with using de-esser for sibilance in home audio system?

A de-esser is a frequency tuned compressor.  I would start would the EQ first. Try a parametric and gently scoop out the frequencies that offend.  That could be all you need.  Adding the compressor part can be tricky in that many popular compressors have a distinct sound.

Never heard of that as an ear issue. Same distortion in the car? Sure it's sibilance and not resonance?

@onhwy61 

Thanks for the clarification.

Can you recommend an EQ? 

I've read 5 - 8 KHz is correct range but others say 3 - 10 KHz.  

Um, first, does this happen with headphones??

I totally get where you are coming from, Stuartk. I have found that even though it is not the "purist" approach, the dBx 231S, 2-channel, stereo EQ unit does a great job at allowing me to reduce (not totally eliminate) sibilance in my hi-end system. It is extremely quiet and sonically transparent and much easier to use compared to digital EQs e.g. Beringher, etc. You can pick one up for about $300 new, and it could be an ear saver for you... I love mine.