About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Another chatty post courtesy of the steroids. About the only parts that are bulking up from this stuff are my fingers and my tongue. Man, I wonder if those body builders and pro athletes that use this stuff talk non-stop? Whoa! And to think what kind of sight they'd make yelling "turn that f#@*er down".

Obiously I had chemo today. Nothing to report. Always feel my best for a couple of day following.

Man, this has been a very happy week in spite of feeling on the sucky side. Got the car things out of the way both for Barb and Amanda. Received my unobtainium tubes and I've got to say they were worth every penny. Amazing. Rumor has it that I have some very special 6SN7's coming my way to kick it up another notch. I've also finished a couple of tedious audio projects that worked out quite well. Bought a new recliner for the sweet spot and will pick it up tomorrow. Now I can assume the correct postion instead of slouching like I always do. Might actually do the dedicated lines tomorrow too. It's nice realizing that my Nova is now a new roof, car and some audio improvements. Not a bad trade off at all.

Okay, I think some of us are getting on the same page about what I am. Yeah, maybe up until now I've navigated this trip in fairly good fashion. Consider that maybe there are other good ways to handle it as well. Also, I may screw up the rest of it beginning tomorrow. Hey, it can happen. What you guys are alluding to is that I'm open with what is going on with me and making the most of it. Well, it really is that simple. When this thread was started and I posted my first heart felt post there was no turning back. I promised early on that this is what I would do. If for no other reason I will keep my word. Of course, there is much more to it than that and you guys know what I've said about my my happiness if God is using this thread to bring others a step closer to Him. Having fun and enjoying myself come easily. That's the way I am. Sure, I can hurt inside just like everyone else and I'm capable of letting something totally out of my control ruin too many good moments. In this case I haven't gotten my house broken into or received a speeding ticket which would ruin more than a weekend each. Even though what I'm going through may seem like much more than those two events you must understand that it became clear early on I only have so much time (Like you guys, if you haven't already figured it out) and I'm simply not going to waste it. Things I can change, I change. Things I can't change I can find peace in even if they are difficult. This allows me to move on. Maybe I'm a good example guys but it honestly comes naturally. Give my father the credit for NEVER meeting a stranger, always being cheerful and loving deeply and openly. I know no other way. Whatever I'm doing is working for me and I'm so thankful for just about everything I can think of, especially this ordeal, whithout which I would not have found the incredible combined character of you guys. I'm flawed and really hope I haven't let anyone down in any way because I would never do that intentionally. But I'm flawed, hornery, outspoken, opinionated and too full of testosterone. I'd piss everybody off if you spent a lot of time with me. I ain't no hero but I'm okay and comfortable in my own skin. So, okay, I'll be a good example. Did that shit in gradeschool.

Love you guys. Ever think I'll get around to updating my system page?

Just an update for Lugnut fans, I talked to Pat for quite a while this evening. He was happy and sounded good. He's not depressed, he isn't giving up. I think he's said it before, he's ready to live if that's what happens and he's ready to die if that's what happens.

Keep those prayers going! I think Pat draws a lot of hope and encouragement from the posts generated here, so you may be helping more than you ever knew by offering words of encouragement.

Pat, you're a rock. : )

Nrchy's quote:

"I think he's said it before, he's ready to live if that's what happens and he's ready to die if that's what happens."

That sums up the impression I've gotten from this thread. Pat's facing this head-on, showing great dignity and resolve.

I know the following will sound mushy and ridiculous to many, but I wanted to share something I recently read.

The gentleman and explorer Sir Walter Raleigh was about to be put to death in England along with several of his men after falling from favor with his queen.

Raleigh instructed his men that each should handle himself with the utmost dignity as his execution came. No begging, no fighting, no crying. One of his men spoke up and said "what does it matter the manner in which we die?"

Raleigh replied "when it's the last thing you'll do, it matters a great deal".

As soon as I read that I was immediately reminded of this thread and the grace and resolve manifested by Pat.

I pray sincerely that Pat's example in life is a lesson to each of us. We can all learn much from this.

Good news, all. Pat and Barb will be coming to San Francisco this weekend. We've begun to plan a few activities, and are thinking about going to listen to some blues music on Friday or Saturday night. Also, a trip to the massive Amoeba Music store in the Haight is in order for Saturday. If anyone else is interested in coming along, please let me know, and as our itinerary develops, I'll pass it along. Also, if anyone knows of a particularly good place to listen to blues on Friday or Saturday, please shout out.
Howard

I hear that Deja Vu SF will have you singing the blues after a lap dance or two.