Let us know how your protien based vibration absorbers work out. However, it seems kind of ewwy to have meat lying around. They'd go bad and start smelling not to mention the mess they'd make. Maybe synthetic protien-like substances would suffice such as saline implants. |
"Maybe synthetic protien-like substances would suffice such as saline implants."
Ha! Or imitation crab meat. |
After many listen tests the Sun-Cook have determined that TURKEY is the best meat for damping those unwanted resonant frequencies that annoy most audiophiles. To get the most from your turkey follow this procedure:
1. Use a Ginsu knife to cut up the raw turkey into about half pound portions. Only the Ginsu knives resonante at the correct frequency that severe the nerve tissue, stopping the Turkey from vibrating itself.
2. Be sure not to cut through the wishbone as this will be used latter.
3. Next order a Steam Buggy from the nearest Info-mercial and steam the meat at 450 degrees for 3 minutes. (This tool will make cleanup a snap too!) It is important not to overcook. While you are steaming the turkey prepare yourself a portion and cook it well for a sandwitch latter.
4. After the meat has been properly steamed, it is time to select the pieces for the sealing process. Based on the sonic character of your electronics select a blend of white meat, dark meat, and a little organ tissue. The white meat imparts a nuetral sound to your system which in some systems can be overly dry, bright, and lack character. The dark meat will give a meatier flavor to the sound but be careful, too much and you'll get the dreaded "DARK" sound to your system. Use the organ meat sparingly as this can impart an earthy sound to your system that is good for the soul. We've found that a blend of 85% white, 10% dark and 5% organ meat works for most systems.
5. Next order a Vaccuum Sealer. This will be used to seal the steamed Turkey meat which will prevent spoilage and keep your valuable equipment from being damaged. It is important to minimize the amount of plastic sealer you use and follow to the letter the directions for sealing the plastic or you could end up with a "plastic-creditcard sound" simalar to HP's Acoustats back in the eighties. You need to prepare 5, 8 ounce bags of meat per component.
6. Now its time to try out your efforts. Place the bags underneath your components in a Pentagram shape. Rock your component back and forth a little to seat each piece. Place the Wishbone on the CD, SACD, DVD-A or Turntable after you've chosen your favorite artist and cut.
7. Before listening go fix yourself a Turkey sandwich, a glass of milk, and cut a piece of pumpkin pie. Be sure to consume all at least one half hour before conducting your listening tests. This will also give your components time to warm up.
8. It's now time to dim the lights and give your system a listen. Be sure to click your ruby slippers together (Available at DorTotoOZ.com),close your eyes and chant the following mantra, "I wish it sounded like Mark Levinson, I wish it sounded like Mark Levinson (or pick any of the Class A Components of the Month as noted by Stereofool). You'll soon nod off to Audio Nirvana.
9. Happy Thanksgiving and Listening you Turkeys! |
I'm sure if you leave the meat out and exposed, it will sound better & better.....
I can prove this. I'll bet more & more flies show up as the meat ages. Flies must appreciate good sound, I've never seen one in a Bose store......
Can I review Audio now? |
Food products: A whole new world for audio. Sgr's vacuum packer is a good idea if you go the real meat route. But I'm thinking "what won't spoil no matter how long it sits out?" Well, 'tis the season. The answer's right in front of us. I'm thinking "fruit cake". It must be good for something! Why not audio? |
You know, they keep finding new uses for Spam. This has got to be one that nobody else has tried. I bet since it is pork based (given rpl's findings) it would combine the best of pork with the best of all those other "ingredients" into one synergistic and convenient package! And no refigeration needed! "Spam, Spam, Spam, Spammedy Spam" (to quote Monty Python) |
Ozfly, fruit cake is a banned substance according to the EPA.
Danielk; your analysis of Bose and fly activity is brilliant! You should publish. I see a Noble prize in it for you!
Sgr; while you remembered the Pentagram, you forgot the Pentode Ritual of Sacrifice to the Tube God. Your system would be forever plagued by misfortune. |
Hep, hep! TOFU is better my friend! Cut into 2-inch square and medium fried! Not only it provides good vibration control, it gives indication too on how much vibes are in your specific component(proportional to the rate of flow of the oil oozing from the Tofu under the component under test)!
To save you some time, I've tried the following and you should avoid it.
1.) Tapioca - soggy bottom end
2.) Jello - transparent sound but leaning on the soft side
3.) Zucchini - the chlorophyl gives top end roll offs
4.) Beef (aged)- classic presentation, a little dark on vocals otherwise meaty overall
5.) Beef (not aged)- pound for pound, the worst of them all!
Happy listening and may all have a great Thanksgiving feast!
Abe
|
What I do is stuff raw hamburger into triangular shaped pillows and tack them into my corners to dampen standing waves and unwanted reinforcements. The effect lessens over time as the mice carry off the hamburger night by night. |
rp1, true ... but the mice will never carry off the fruitcake! (LOL Xiekitchen. Actually, LOL everyone!) |
Forget the music! It's a good way to tenderize the meat. Just put on some rap or organ music for an hour and meat will be tender and delicious. |
What about BUFFALO?! This meat is extremely dense with hardly any fat content. |
"Pork: The Other Audio Feet"
Hey, if you think it sounds good when encased inside a plastic-baggie condom, I hear it's out of this world when supporting your gear bareback - something having to do with the reckless thrill of risking giving your rig trichinosis...
"Isolation Footers: It's What's For Dinner" |
This is the wierdest forum thread i have ever read. The possibilitys for me to have fun with this one are limitless.
I think i better use some restraint. |
I made the mistake of trying imported British beef. Now my cd-player has mad bit disease. |
This will surely put Rives and Echobusters, etc.. out of business if used properly for room treatment. Precision computer controlled pyramid shaped prior to cryogenic treatment for diffusion. For absorption make sure the meat is beatened, but not battered, fill meat in framed box and cover with choice of fabric (Walmart has burlap @ 3.79/yd). For bass traps, grind meat (preferably in long string shapes), then wrap it around cylindrical shaped mesh wire. Again, use cover fabric of choice, the more porous the better. Lastly, remember to use prime, grade A meat for behind listening area. Forget foam and Owens-Corning's fiberglass. Yes, both the 703 and 705-FRK were rendered ineffective by comparison done on ModeCalc. |
