TOP TEN replies you don't want from your spouse ..

1) "That tubey thing of yours was really hot and glowing, so I poured cold water over it ... now it doesn't look like it's overheated anymore."

2)"That was a rare album? Oh %$@#!, I sold it at the garage sale last weekend."

3)"How much did you say the new speakers cost? OK, now what are you buying me for 10 grand, dear?”

4)"Your Black Diamond Shelf is excellent for slicing tomatoes dear. And see, you can hardly smell a thing"

5) "The guy at the hi-fi store said he couldn't give me a 100 bucks for that old tube amp. Neither of us had heard of Jadis, so we agreed on 75 bucks, and I used the money to buy a new dress."

6)"It didn't sound good there, so I moved it over here."

7) "These old speaker cables will make great twist-ties if I cut 'em up."

8) "The guy at the repair shop said it wasn't too bad of a crack and the parts shouldn't take more than 12 weeks to come from Germany. Can get another turntable from the pawn shop in the mean time?"

9)"The Bose system sounds better and those little speakers, Oh, they’re so cute."

10) "What'd ya mean you'd rather listen to music?... don't you find me attractive any more?"
Honey, I tried to use those old "KT77" lightbulbs you had in your the safe I might add!...for the lamp in the living room. I think they were all broken, so I threw all 20 out. Thank me later.
i kept turnin' up the volume and turnin' up the volume but i couldn't hear much 'til i pressed that little button that says "mute." that made things really LOUD at first but it got quiet again pretty quick. then the damned "mute" button wouldn't even work! what's up with your toys, anyway? -cfb
Guess what? The kids & I picked up a new kitten today & it climbed up on your speaker. Um, the scratches in the wood don't look too deep but then Cookie (our older cat) climbed up there with the new kitten and then Honey (our dog) decided she wanted in on the fun & your speaker fell against the wall which wasn't so bad, but then it fell the other way and knocked the TV off the stand. Don't you have some money saved up so we can go replace the TV? Oh, and the kitten needs some shots, so you have to take her in for that too.
Number 3 would be funny except the 10 grand is if you only bought a $5k speaker. Audiophile expenditure = 2 x jewelry. This is no joke--do you know what a system costs on that formula. (oh--thank God it's not me--but a close friend--my wife is far more accepting of my audiophilia disease)
11) honey it's me or your hi fi
12) did you buy something new? you did, didn't you?
13) you're not putting spikes down into my carpet
14) what do you mean the only headphones you'll settle for cost $1000 dollars
15) we're just going to have to wate to buy that,
I'll be out clothes shopping this afternoon

and the worse one involves a divorce attorney

16) since you bought this stuff while we were married, legally it's half mine
17) Look, I got you a new/better cd player, this pioneer holds 300 discs instead of just the one that the Naim held.
18) What tubes dear? Oh! the art deco lamp bulbs with the funny prongs! I put them in the pot plants -- don't they look nice on top of the sound boxes?

Audiotomb, your last is a nightmare (shudder)...
1. "Honey, I dried my panties on your amp."

2. "Honey, when are you expecting the next shipment for your audio equipment from UPS?" - not knowing she's having an affair the UPS delivery guy.

to be continued.....
"Why don't you like it? The potted plant matches the speaker."

"What's wrong with twist-tying all the cords together to get them out of the way?"

"Why can't we buy that? Its all in one box."
"The interior decorator came by. We faux painted your speakers and moved them way into the corners. We also thought it'd look better if we just sat the speakers on top of the power amps and used this nice skinny wire that matches the carpet (we threw out your MIT cables)."

Actually, just the first sentence would do it for me ;-)
Why did you put that new Electrocompanion, or whatever it's called, CD player on top of the Arts & Crafts cabinet...especially on that "Noonce" gray thing? How do you expect anyone to reach it up there? (faint whistling noises from yours truly in background)

I must be lucky: my jewelry penalty surcharge is only about 25%!
I always thought the thing men hated to hear from there spouse was "is it in yet?" looks like I am mistaken this seems by far worse. On to the subject at hand, I have one friend who let his girlfriend put plants on top of the speakers to "hide" them, I guess there is a reason I am single. Halloween is scary enough, all of this stuff should have been under halloween horror stories thread I saw a while ago.
"Honey, you are always complaining that I am not romantic enough, so I carved our initials into the side of your brand new Coincident Total Eclipse speakers!"


1. No

2. Turn that down

3. Those speakers are different.

4. What is Dicsogs and why do you keep getting packages.

5. where did that second turntable come from.

6. Why is there a system in the guest bedroom and the garage.

7. Whatever.

8. When you were out of town I sold all those cables and tubes in the community rummage sale.

9. I found the receipt in your pocket and you said that $2000.00 was for tires on the truck.

10. The kids keep asking who gets the stereo system when you die, is it worth more than your truck? 


Probably the biggest one is “What are you doing down there?” Oh wait, are we talking about audio stuff?

These are so funny, and so true. But koestner

"Honey, show me how all of this works." Hits close to home.

But mine adds, " If something happened to you, I wouldn't know how to turn this thing on"


Whatever her complaints just tell her you left your mother at home a long time ago